


Achieving Thermal Equilibirum

by TwelveTurquoise12



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Catharsis, Character Study, Developing Friendships, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emphasis On Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Self Harm, Minor Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, The suicidal thoughts are really minor and mostly influenced by tentacles, Unreliable Narrator, identity crisis, mutual comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25730233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwelveTurquoise12/pseuds/TwelveTurquoise12
Summary: They were just two kids trying to offset their grief with bloodlust, before realizing fighting ice with fire would never work.When Kayano agrees to let Yanagisawa maintain her tentacles, she never expected to meet a boy like her in the research facility, nor did she expect to befriend him.AU where both Itona and Kayano initially worked for Shiro. Follows canon AssClass timeline. An Itona-Kayano friendship fic and character study.Written for Assassination Classroom Big Bang 2020!
Relationships: Horibe Itona & Kayano Kaede, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38
Collections: Assassination Classroom Big Bang 2020





	1. Spark

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my piece for Assassination Classroom Big Bang 2020, which is organized by [ @livixbobbiex ](https://livixbobbiex.tumblr.com/)on tumblr (also known as [ @nagisasstunningpersonality](https://nagisasstunningpersonality.tumblr.com/))! Really excited to share this with you because I don’t usually focus on characters other than Chiba and Hayami :D And I’ve always thought Itona and Kayano could be good friends :D
> 
> Check out the gorgeous companion art made by my dear friend Zaina ([@dreaming-of-assclass](https://dreaming-of-assclass.tumblr.com/))! Love you UwU
> 
> Also, if you’re familiar with my other pieces of AssClass fanfiction, they’re mostly light and fluffy rom coms. This, however, is not. It is angsty and full of pain and horror, but there's still fluff :D
> 
> (PS: Check out the [Assassination Classroom Big Bang 2020 Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Ass_Class_Big_Bang_2020) for more fics and art!)

Yukimura Akari was dead.

She died the same night her sister did.

The lithe girl lifted her chin, a determined glint in her eyes. The past week had been the worst week of her life, and she had spent hours sobbing into her blanket. Now, her tears had run dry. She could see nothing but red. All that remained inside was a fire that burned through her veins. A fire that melted everything–her love her heartbreak her happiness her sorrow her very identity–

No matter. She had nothing to lose.

The girl swept aside her hair.

_My new name… is Kayano Kaede._

Without hesitation, she injected herself with the tentacles.

At first, there was nothing. Just a little prickle of pain when the needle pierced her skin. And then the pain spread, twisting up to her head, splitting her skull apart. The agony tore through her body and she bit back a scream. Her neck _burned_ so much and it was awful _._ Was her neck really hot? Or really cold? She couldn't tell at all. It just _hurt._

She blindly clutched a desk for support, her knuckles turning white. It felt like the tentacles were ripping her cells apart, hollowing out her bones, shrinking her muscles, reducing her to nothing but a pile of flesh. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she stubbornly held them back.

_T-this is all w-worth it!_

The agony forced its way in, deeper and deeper, past her brittle bones, past her pounding heart, past her scorching brain–until it felt like it had reached and corrupted her very soul.

Her mind went blank. She could barely register that her knees were wobbling and her lip bleeding. All she knew was _PAIN_ and _PAIN_ and _REVENGE, sweet_ _**revenge**_ –

Akari–no, Kayano couldn't remember how long she stayed in that position: hands on her desk, a sheen of sweat on her face, all while every one of her cells contorted into something new. Gradually, gradually, Kayano started to get used to her tentacles. Just like how her grief had hardened into anger, the pain morphed into a roaring lust for revenge.

Slowly, slowly, she raised her head and took in her pale reflection. Strands of hair were plastered on her sweaty skin, a far cry from the pretty, flawless face she had for her movies. Her amber eyes, so similar yet so different from Aguri's, were bursting with unmistakable bloodlust. There was a crazed look in them, as if she was some sort of inhuman beast, but that wasn't the most terrifying part. The most terrifying part was that she _liked_ it.

The agony was worth it. The tentacles would give her power. She could avenge her beloved sister. Instead of burying her emotions, that fury and pain could have a place to go. She would dump all of her hatred and suffering onto that _fucking_ murderer. She wouldn't rest until _it_ died by her hands. Nothing would ever change that.

_What do you want? What do you want?_

The tentacles were hissing in her head, yet their voices didn't seem alien at all. It was as if she had become one with the tentacles, morphing into a collective "we". The voices surrounded ( _trapped_ ) her from all sides, encouraging ( _suffocating_ ) her, asking–

_What do you want to be?_

_**What do you want to be?** _

Heart thumping (from anticipation, or from fear?), Kayano gave a chilling smile.

" _I want to be a killer._ "

* * *

A few miles away, an one-eyed scientist glared at the permanent crescent moon above him. His white robes swayed in the cold night wind, making him look like a sinister ghost.

His research facility had been annihilated, but he could just rebuild it. That stupid bitch had died alongside many other researchers, but it was alright. _It was alright._ He hadn't lost everything. He _couldn't_ lose everything. No, not his research, not his reputation, not his dignity, no no _no_ –

He clenched his fist. Now that all governments were cooperating to kill the _thing_ (which had unfortunately escaped from his lab), his research would prove to be incredibly useful. Nobody had valuable information about the creature–except for him. Yes, he could obtain funding. He could run more experiments. The "tentacles", as he called it, had immense potential, and soon, _soon_ , revenge would be in his grasp. Yes. _Yes._

Once upon a time, the God of Death played him like a fiddle.

Now, he would play him back.


	2. Flicker

In a dark alley, a boy slumped against a graffitied wall. Heavy rain seeped through his hair, ran down his cheeks, and drenched his clothes, but he remained numb. After all, he was used to the cold. Besides, struggling was futile. He didn't even have an umbrella. He was powerless against the rain.

_Powerless…_

The boy turned the word over in his head. It tasted bitter. He didn't like being powerless. No, no, not at all. Unwanted memories flooded back to him–the factory going bankrupt, his parents leaving him, the bullies at school… He swallowed. Everything he'd ever had had been taken away from him.

More so than ever, he wanted to be strong. That way, he could finally make things right. But he didn't have anything, no, nothing at all. No family (his uncle didn't care for him), no friends, no money, no power. The only thing he had was a burning desire for strength, which kept him trudging through his bleak life. A tiny bit of hope for something more.

A shadow towered over him and rain stopped abruptly. The boy looked up and was met with a strange sight.

A curious man dressed in white from head to toe. And a traditional oil-paper umbrella in his outstretched arm.

_What the fuck._

"Nice eyes," the man began. "I can see your vision. In your eyes lies a tenacity for victory."

The boy stared at the man. He didn't want to admit it yet, but the man's words had intrigued him. Just slightly. He liked how the man connected him to victory. Victory, victory… wasn't that what he wanted?

"That tenacity is essential for mastering the powerful cells I've created."

_Cells, huh? So that guy's a freak scientist._

"I'll keep it simple," the man continued in his gravelly voice. He leaned down and looked at the boy straight in the eye. "Won't you join me for some 'addition'?"

It was as if a jolt of electricity went through the boy's spine. Cold sweat dripped down his face. _What is that freak talking about\_ –

"I'll worry about which path to take towards victory. Your tenacity, plus my technology, would equal the 'power' to grasp victory." The man made a victory sign with his fingers. "So, what do you say?"

The boy's mind was in a whirl, and his stomach clenched uncomfortably. Cells… what the hell was that? From the looks of it, that white scientist was offering to give him body modifications. His heart leapt. _Body modifications_. While that sounded freaky as fuck, he could be extraordinarily strong. He could have an edge over everyone, over those stupid bullies, over those bastards who bled them of their money. He could be special. He could be strong. He could finally grasp that sweet victory in his hands.

This was it. A chance. He'd been waiting so long for one. And no, he wasn't going to let it slip from his fingers, no matter the cost. The look in his eyes hardened.

The man had apparently inferred his answer, because he stretched out a hand. Without hesitation, the boy grabbed his hand. Even with the gloves, the hand felt faintly warm.

"What is your name, boy?"

"Horibe Itona."

"So, Horibe-kun–"

Something snapped inside of him. "No. Don't call me that. Call me Itona," he barked sharply.

Itona felt like if the man wasn't wearing a mask, he would've raised both of his eyebrows. His family name aroused unpleasant memories–of his parents' weakness, of their factory's weakness. The name "Itona" wasn't much better because it was given to him by his parents, but at least it didn't have anything associated with "Horibe Electronics".

"So what should I call you?" Itona asked the man bluntly.

The man laughed gently, seemingly amused. "My name is Shiro. From today onwards, I will provide you with shelter, food, clothes, and of course, strength. That way, we can work towards our own victory. Deal?"

A small smirk graced Itona's face. "Deal."

And so, under the man's oil-paper umbrella, free from the chill of the rain, Itona followed Shiro all the way to his new home.

* * *

There was no food left in her kitchen. Kayano stared at the two eggs in her fridge and hoped they would boil themselves.

She had hunted in every nook and cranny of her tiny apartment for food, but there was nothing except the mountain of instant ramen packaging. Defeated, Kayano flopped back on her sofa.

Of course Kayano could cook, but she didn't trust herself with using the stove. The pain from the tentacles proved to be a major distraction. She had burned herself three times already and her skin was still raw and itchy, so Kayano just ate pre-made food. Even shopping became a hassle. Kayano nearly fainted when she went out a day ago, and now that she was out of painkillers, Kayano felt like she couldn't even make it halfway to the supermarket. Taking a warm bath used to be relaxing, but the tentacles would swell up with water and Kayano couldn't do anything about it. She could barely sleep and spent countless nights tossing in her bed, teeth clamped down on her pillow. She was exhausted, starving, dirty, and in constant agony. How was Kayano supposed to avenge her sister when she couldn't even take care of herself? At this rate, she was either going to die of starvation or insanity.

It didn't help that Kayano's appetite had grown after being injected with the tentacle cells. According to the research she had stolen from her dear brother-in-law, the tentacles required a lot of energy. Kayano discovered a sudden craving for sugary food, and the cool sweet pudding quickly became her favourite. Obviously, she couldn't eat anything now because _she didn't have anything to eat._

Kayano sighed and stumbled back to her fridge. She yanked the door open and once again stared at the two eggs. She wearily weighed her options. _It can't be too hard to boil two eggs, right? Maybe I won't burn myself this time_ –

The doorbell rang.

At first, Kayano was confused. She hadn't ordered anything. She had no friends. Aguri was gone. And it certainly wasn't her father.

The doorbell rang again, telling her it definitely wasn't a mistake.

Kayano flicked her hair over her shoulder and strode over to the door. She stood on her tiptoes and looked through the peephole. To her disgust, it was Aguri's ex-fiance Yanagi-whatever.

Yanagisawa looked as nauseating as ever, with his oily hair, thin lips, and that infuriating little grin. He was wearing strange white robes, which made him look out of place in Kayano's quaint neighbourhood. Kayano noted that he had lost an eye, probably from when the creature attacked the facility. Even though Kayano hated the creature to bits, she still felt a hot shiver of satisfaction when she imagined that creature impaling Yanagisawa's eye. The tentacle shooting towards him, piercing his eye, crimson blood gushing out like a waterfall–Kayano knew imagining gory situations was a morbid thing, but it was strangely enjoyable. _Especially_ when she knew Yanagisawa had been abusing her dear sister. Permanently hurting Yanagisawa was probably the only good thing the creature had ever done. Kayano kind of wished she could do the same.

Deciding to humour Yanagisawa, Kayano opened the door. "What do you want?"

"Here. Take it."

Kayano stared at the cup noodles Yanagisawa tossed at her. She watched as he pulled out a box of pills from under his robes. Even as her heartbeat speeded up, she put on a nonchalant facade.

"Excuse me–"

Yanagisawa's face was perfectly neutral when he said, "I know what you did."

Kayano wrinkled her nose, feigning confusion and innocence. "Uh, wha–"

"You don't have to act in front of me," Yanagisawa stated lightly. "After all, we're family, aren't we, Akari-san?"

Kayano dropped her act and glared daggers at Yanagisawa. _At least he doesn't call me "Akari-chan",_ Kayano thought.

"I know you stole my research," Yanagisawa continued. He eyed Kayano and said, "You're going through excruciating pain, aren't you? The tentacles always do that."

As much as Kayano hated to admit, Yanagisawa was right. The tentacles were seriously affecting her daily life. Kayano had been counting on the situation to get better, but what if it didn't? Kayano knew she would power through, but what if she ended up permanently damaging herself in the end?

"Here's a little gift for you, Akari-san." Yanagisawa nodded to the small pile of cup noodles. "Since the pain is so bad that you can't even go out, I want to make sure you have enough to eat. Oh, and you see that box of pills? They're especially strong painkillers. You don't come by them easily."

Kayano peered at the "gifts" apprehensively. The cup noodles looked like the ordinary ones she had seen in convenience stories, plus the packaging was intact, so Yanagisawa probably didn't put something weird in them. The pills looked awfully suspicious and Kayano didn't trust them one bit.

Yanagisawa crossed his arms and continued. "You know, my research facility can maintain tentacles and greatly reduce their pain. Since you're like my little sister, I would like to offer help–"

Kayano crossed her arms. "Cut the crap, Yanagisawa- _san_ ," she spat out the honorific. "Let's not beat around the bush."

Yanagisawa gave her a humorless smile. "As you wish. I know you want to kill that creature. So do I, in fact. As killing _it_ is an incredibly difficult task, especially with the current… state of my lab, I need your help."

Kayano did not trust him, obviously, but she felt surprised that Yanagisawa was looking for her help. Yanagisawa was a lot of things but she knew he didn't ask for help often. He was simply too arrogant for that. And Kayano had an inkling that Yanagisawa _genuinely_ needed help from her. What would he get from manipulating her? Data for his research?

When Kayano remained silent, Yanagisawa continued, "Not only can I reduce the pain, I can also _grow_ your tentacles. Make them stronger. Faster. Deadlier. I have information that no one else on this planet has access to."

"What do you want from me?" Kayano shot.

Yanagisawa chuckled. "Ahh, Akari-san, always assuming I have ulterior motives. But my motive is simple, really–to kill the creature. To do that, I need more research, and coincidentally, I happen to know a certain _someone_ who implanted themself with tentacles. Risky move, but brave. I applaud you."

"Oh, so you want me to be your guinea pig?"

"That's a nasty way of saying _monitoring your health_ and _maintaining your tentacles_." Yanagisawa gestured towards the box of pills. "Do you know how expensive and rare that shit is? I'm offering it to you for free."

Kayano's body started to shake, which was probably due to her low blood sugar levels. Kayano forced herself to stand up straight.

"Besides, I believe you have a decent chance in killing that creature." A hot shiver ran down Kayano's spine. "You're determined, Akari-san. You're unafraid. You're strong and intelligent. If anyone can withstand the torture of the tentacles, it would be you."

Kayano was not impressed by his attempt to flatter her. Seriously, she'd heard enough from directors and reporters and whatnot. Besides, she _knew_ she was determined. And unafraid. And strong. And whatever that he'd been going on about. Kayano was not vain, but she knew her strengths and how to use them. She didn't need to be… _empowered_ by some creepy freak.

"Goodbye, Yanagisawa-san," she said simply.

"The offer still stands." Yanagisawa handed her a business card. The letters "AKELOTA" were boldly printed on the card, and under it was " _Advanced Killers' Effective Lethality: Operation Tentacle Action_ " (Kayano privately thought it sounded stupid, but she expected that from Yanagisawa.) "Call me when you change your mind."

Kayano hated how he used "when" instead of "if". _Self-entitled dick._ She took the card anyway.

"Well, see you soon, Akari-san." Yanagisawa gave a little wave and strode away. Kayano stared at him until he vanished from view, not wanting to give him a chance to do anything suspicious.

She shut the door and tossed the card on her coffee table. It landed right next to the documents she'd been forging.

Kayano quickly made a cup of instant noodles and wolfed it down. Cheap ramen had never tasted so delicious. Her body stopped shaking, but her head still throbbed with pain. Using whatever little energy she had, Kayano did some research on the box of pills. It appeared to be safe, plus Kayano didn't have any other options, so she swallowed one.

Half an hour later, Kayano had cleaned up her kitchen, combed her greasy hair, and was ready to go out and get some groceries. Kayano was still reluctant to trust the pills, but she couldn't deny that they reduced her pain greatly. In fact, she hadn't felt this good in a whole week.

Nothing could change her hatred for Yanagisawa–nothing in the entire world. She would _despise_ being allies with him. But on the other hand, could she really handle her self-imposed pain? Or would she end up destroying herself?


	3. Ignition

Itona felt uneasy without his trusty jacket.

The jacket had been soiled in the rain, so he took it to wash. Too bad he only owned one jacket (the other had been stolen). His bruised arms were now exposed and Itona hated seeing them. Every time the purplish-yellow patches came into view, Itona would remember his stupid bullies and wince. If only he was stronger–if only he could push the bullies away–if only _if only_ –

Itona took a deep breath. Why was he so focused on his damn past? He was literally part of a top-secret research on body modifications. Soon, he would get stronger–both physically and mentally.

As Itona waited for his clothes to dry, he tried to get used to his new room, which was tucked deep inside the facility. It was a small windowless thing, with a modified hospital bed, a drawer, a desk, and a few chairs. He placed his trusty toolkit on the desk and stuffed his modest collection of manga inside the drawer. Considering Itona didn't own much, the cramped accommodation suited him just fine.

According to that Shiro guy, he wouldn't be receiving the "tentacles" immediately. Apparently Shiro needed to build up a "foundation" in Itona's body to receive the tentacles. Shiro made no attempt to explain the scientific mumbo-jumbo, and Itona made no attempt to ask.

Shiro had warned him that body modifications were going to be extremely painful, but he was confident Itona could handle it. Itona was confident too. After all, he'd been beat up and shoved around and ignored ever since his father's company collapsed. He'd gone through pain. He'd built up resilience. He was strong.

Itona clenched his fist. His colourful bruises seemed especially noticeable against his pale skin. Itona pretended they were invisible.

One day, they would fade for real and all of the pain would be gone. Now, he had a new home–nobody could harm him anymore. And if someone tried to hurt him, he would fight back. He wasn't that cowardly, naïve boy anymore.

And so, his new life began.

* * *

_Okay, Itona, you got this. You're strong._

Itona gulped and tried to steady his breathing. It wasn't the first time he had been strapped to the machine, with its head brace and tubes and all that, but this would be his first contact with the "tentacle cells".

Shiro had said his foundation was "well done"–whatever that meant. Having chemicals and stuff injected into his skin wasn't too bad, actually. The worst part was that he had to wear sleeveless shirts. But Itona was pretty sure the researchers and Shiro gave zero fucks about his exposed bruises. The researchers in particular regarded him with indifference, like their leader adopting a random kid was something that happened every day. Itona felt oddly glad for their lack of care. He didn't want to get attached.

There was a crackle as Shiro ordered something through the intercom. Itona shut his eyes and braced himself. He felt needles poke through his skin. And then–

Pain rushed into his head, flooding his skull like it was lava, it hurt it hurt it HURT.

Itona choked out blood.

His head was being split apart by a fucking hammer. His brain was on fire, melting, twisting into a charred lum–

**AH!**

Itona gritted his teeth.

_The pain… i-it was ssstarting again…_

He thought it would get better.

…

.

..

No, it WASN'T GET **TING B** _ **ETTER**_

...

It was okay. It was going to be okay. He was–

 _He was he was he was he was_ –

_.._

_._

_**strong**_ , wasn't he?

..

That's right. _That's right._ He's strong, Itona's strong. He's victor–

_GAH!_

–rious…

.

.

It hurt.

It hurt really badly.

_S-stop…_

NO! Don't stop–

He's strong. He's strong. He can handle this. He's strong hE'S STRONG _HE'S_ _ **STRON2F1-9]HWQC9H[10J**_ –

* * *

Kayano strode into Yanagisawa's lab, newly dyed green hair flying behind her. Her footsteps echoed through the corridor while dim lights flickered from above. Her hands were nonchalantly shoved in her pockets. Despite being shorter than most, she emitted an icy aura which signaled to the researchers that she. Meant. _Business_.

Joining forces with Yanagisawa was not an easy decision to make. In the end, after going through the pros and cons for the umptieth time, Kayano decided to pull a reverse card. So Yanagisawa was probably going to manipulate her. But what if Kayano could manipulate _him_? Make him _her_ pawn, get him to strengthen her tentacles, get insight into his plans, instead of him taking advantage of her? Kayano might be young, but she wasn't stupid. She'd had her fair share of dealing with devious directors and manipulation.

(Besides, Kayano really needed an escape from the pain.)

So Kayano squared her shoulders and walked right into the lion's den with nothing but her wits to protect her.

Yanagisawa had donned a mask and requested Kayano to call him "Shiro". Kayano was fine with it, but she couldn't help but wonder why. Maybe he was hiding from someone–a person, or an organization? She now had some leverage over him, no matter how small it might be.

None of the researchers seemed to recognize her as Yukimura Aguri's little sister, which meant she was doing a good job at disguising herself. Kayano walked right up to Yanagisawa's office and knocked confidently.

A masked Yanagisawa motioned for Kayano to sit down. Kayano obliged and took a careful look around his office. It was clean, well-lit, with screens plastered on the walls. The screens were off, she noted. Probably to keep her from poking into his business.

"Glad to see you here, Akari-san," Yanagisawa began.

Kayano stared right at him. "I'm going by Kayano Kaede now. You wouldn't mind calling me that, would you, _Shiro-san_?"

Kayano could imagine his smirk. "Of course, Kayano-san. Well, let's get on with our business."

"A little birdie told me that a certain Kayano has enrolled herself in Kunugigaoka Middle School–am I right in assuming that's you?"

Kayano swallowed. She didn't know how Yanagisawa obtained that information as she hadn't breathed a word of it to anyone, but she assumed Yanagisawa was working with the government and now had connections with the school.

"Yes, that's me," Kayano answered without hesitation.

"How fascinating. You know, I'm also interested in sending a student assassin, but I suppose you're ahead of me. What are your plans?"

"I'm going to pretend to be a normal student. I'll sneak in, observe the target, and kill it."

Kayano was being purposely vague, but she supposed she didn't have a lot to hide. Yanagisawa already knew of her new identity and could connect the dots easily.

Yanagisawa leaned forward. Kayano was glad she didn't have to see his disgusting face. "The idea is… intriguing. But _when_ will you kill it?"

"Before winter break," Kayano found herself saying. "I'll get enough information by then."

"Alright. I'll try not to clash with your schedule."

Ah yes, Yanagisawa would "try". That showed how arrogant he was.

"What are your plans, anyways?" Kayano asked coolly.

"Hmm, I'm trying to do something with the tentacles. Maybe come up with an ultimate weapon to kill the creature."

Like her, Yanagisawa was being awfully vague. She couldn't blame him though.

"Okay." Pain prickled the back of Kayano's neck and she fought to keep a calm face. The tentacles had been bothering her for the entire day, and the pain started to intensify the moment she stepped into the facility. It was almost as if her impatient tentacles were screeching at her to get that damn maintenance already.

After a quick talk with Yanagisawa, a researcher entered the room and told Kayano to follow him. He would take Kayano to the heart of the lab. It was Kayano's first night at the lab, so she couldn't help but be on high alert.

They had to go through layers of locked doors and several guards. The temperature dropped with every room and corridor they went through and Kayano wrapped her jacket tighter around herself. There was also the hospital smell, that instructive scent of disinfectant and something else Kayano couldn't recognize.

The room at the core of the facility was smaller than what Kayano had expected. It was also warm and a bit stuffy, in sharp contrast to the coldness of the corridors outside. Kayano surveyed the area with a hard, serious expression. Numerous cameras peeked out from the corners of the room, while thick layers of reinforced metal made up the walls. Kayano immediately noticed two gigantic, ominous machines that took up most of the room. Each one had a head brace with complicated tubes and straps, and they connected up to the ceiling, right next to a series of buttons and blinking lights. A curious whirring and whizzing permeated the air, creating an uneasy atmosphere.

It reminded Kayano of a hospital set she'd visited, only this time, it was far more real and far more dangerous.

Kayano took a step forward to the nearest machine. Just as she did, a strangled gasp sounded. Kayano froze. She had thought there were only two people in the room– the researcher and herself.

The voice was buried deep inside the criss-cross of the pipes and machines. Kayano moved and the first thing she saw was a disheveled mop of white… hair?

It was a man–a man in the second machine. His head was stuck inside the head brace while his pale arms jerked, struggling against his constraints. A little whimper escaped from him and with a jolt, Kayano realized the man was not a man. He was a boy.

A boy. About her age, maybe even younger, with eyes scrunched up, limbs cruelly fastened to the machine, small body writhing against his straps. For one second, Kayano couldn't breathe. A _boy._ Yanagisawa had used a boy. Anger pumped through her veins, and her tentacles roared, thirsty for blood. How dare he–

Then the boy opened his eyes.

And Kayano's heart dropped like a stone.


	4. Firestorm

The boy opened his eyes and Kayano's stomach gave a sickening lurch.

His yellow eyes, a shade lighter than hers, had demonic black streaks running through the irises. There was no anger, no sadness in his eyes, just eerie, unmoving emptiness. Kayano wanted to throw up.

What the fuck did Yanagisawa do to this kid? Did he kidnap the boy? Aggravated by Kayano's anger, her tentacles thrashed inside her. Intense pain sprouted from her neck. Of _course_ her bloodlust would make the pain worse.

Kayano stiffly strode to the vacant machine and allowed the researcher to strap her limbs to the machine. While she appeared to be calm and collected, her mind was in a complete whirl. She was heavily disturbed by what she just saw. She _needed_ answers from Yanagisawa. She would ask him right after her treatment. It didn't matter if he didn't want to see her; once Kayano put her mind on something, she would keep on rolling.

She would force the damn answers out of Yanagisawa's mouth if she had to.

The researcher left, leaving Kayano and the boy in the room. If she strained her ears, she could hear him fidget and whimper amongst the buzzing of the machines–

The needles injected something cool and soothing. They alleviated the burning pain almost immediately. Kayano let out a breath she didn't know she was holding–maybe she'd been holding it ever since Aguri died.

And so Kayano spent an uncomfortable hour and a half sitting in the machine. Physical relief was good and all that, but Kayano remained on high alert. She would like to be prepared if Yanagisawa did something unexpected, thank you very much. Besides, she hadn't forgotten the other boy in the room. She could occasionally hear him gasp and cry out. The sounds chilled her to the bone. Even after Kayano had finished her treatment, the boy was still there. Her heart clenched. _How long had he been suffering? What did Yanagisawa do?_

The same researcher from earlier entered. In seconds, her pity gave way to righteous anger, propelling her to act. "May I see Shiro-san?" she asked directly.

The researcher raised an eyebrow. "You must know that Shiro-san is very busy at the moment."

Kayano squared her shoulders and tried to look taller than she was. "It's important. He knows me personally. Please make a call."

The researcher looked like he was going to laugh. "Alright, alright," he drawled, humouring her. He spoke into an intercom, and to Kayano's satisfaction, the amusement on his face quickly melted. He glared at Kayano. "You may see him in his office."

"Thank you," Kayano replied coolly. Served the researcher right for being patronizing. Without the pain of the tentacles hindering her, Kayano could dedicate all of her focus to dealing with Yanagisawa. When she finally reached his office, without even bothering to exchange pleasantries, she demanded,

_"Who's that other boy?"_

* * *

"Who's that girl?" Itona roared. His head throbbed, his neck was on fire, his wrists were scratched and bleeding, everything hurt but _nothing_ hurt as much as that damned girl–

–a girl his age

with green hair

and amber eyes

looking at him–

with _**pity**_.

He hated it. He hated being pitied. It had been an hour since she left the room and her gaze still haunted him. He was strong, damnit! Why was she looking at him like that? Why, damnit, why?

And why was she there at the lab? Wasn't _he_ supposed to be a special case? He didn't want to share his long-awaited victory with some random girl!

" _Who is she?"_ he screamed once again.

"Now don't be so rude," came a distant voice from above. Ah- Shiro. The freak scientist. "She has a name. Meet your tentacle twin–Kayano Kaede."

* * *

_"His name is Itona. He agreed to the tentacles_ – _he's like your little brother at this point."_

 _"He_ _**agreed** _ _to the tentacles?"_

_"I don't force experiments on other people. Itona-kun agreed to the treatment."_

* * *

"Why is she here?" Itona spat through gritted teeth, hot blood pulsing in his neck. His limbs were shaking violently, and he couldn't control it at all. _Wha- what's happening?_

"Your blood sugar is low," Shiro remarked amiably. He handed something to Itona. "Have a banana?"

* * *

" _What are you going to do with him?_

 _"Kunugigaoka Middle School accepts transfer students. Itona-kun is your age. We're planning to mold him into a student assassin and have him attack as a transfer student."_ A pause _. "Don't worry, I told you I won't interfere with your schedule."_

* * *

"To be honest, I didn't expect to see her here. All you need to know is that she has tentacles too–but unauthorized ones. We made a deal and she'll be coming over occasionally for maintenance."

"But–"

"Shh, focus on eating. You'll need the energy."

…

…

...

"Ahh, you finished it already. Have another one?'"

…

Itona didn't know why he was suddenly so ravenously hungry. It was like a primal part of him had been forcefully unlocked. Despite shoving food down his throat, he was still so, so hungry. He was _starving._

"You won't need to worry. You're way stronger than she is. You'll be a better wielder of these tentacle weapons."

Itona stared up at Shiro, amber eyes wide and vacant.

"... Is that so?" he muttered.

* * *

" _Do you have more questions, Kayano-san? We're on a tight schedule."_

" _Will we be sharing a room for tentacle maintenance?'_

" _For now. When there are enough resources, you'll get separate rooms."_

* * *

"I don't want to see her _ever again._ "

"It's just temporary. Never mind that girl for now. You did a fantastic job with the tentacles, Itona-kun."

"Mmm."

"I'm proud of you." Shiro stretched out a gloved hand and petted Itona's head softly.

Proud… proud… no one had ever been proud of him. And that was why despite everything, despite the fact that Shiro was _weird_ , Itona couldn't help but feel a twinge of happiness at the superficial show of affection. It made his stomach churn; he _knew_ he should stop expecting affection from adults. So why was he falling into the same old trap again?

"By the way, did you do what I told you to? Did you share with them your vision?"

Itona swallowed. "Yeah. I told the tentacles I wanted to be strong."

"Good. Everything's been perfect so far."

Perfect? Itona wanted to laugh. His mind was going completely crazy, he felt like shit, and now he had _competition._ This wasn't what he wanted–or was it?

Maybe it was all a small price to pay for victory.

…

Besides, going through _more_ pain would only prove how strong he was.

…

(And complaining to Shiro wouldn't help.)

"I won't bother you for now; you need rest. Ask the researchers if you want anything."

Itona gave a half-hearted nod in reply. As Shiro's white robes vanished from his vision, he felt his restraints loosen. After what felt like forever, he could finally move properly. He wriggled his fingers experimentally. It didn't feel like his old body anymore; it was as if someone had yanked his bones apart and pierced them together in new ways. Now, he was someone new, someone stronger–a phoenix reborn in flames, a hero birthed from pain. And nothing could stop him.

Not even the tiny girl with fierce yet pitying eyes.


	5. Ice

Kayano really didn't know what to expect.

Her new classmates were the students Aguri had taught for a month. Kayano knew Aguri cared for 3-E. Did they care about her? Did they notice when she suddenly went missing? Did they know she was _murdered_?

The moment she entered the classroom, Kayano half-expected them to whisper and gossip about her dear sister in the way middle-schoolers typically did. But the room was peacefully silent, as if nothing had ever happened. As if Aguri had never left.

_It was as if Aguri had never been there at all._

Kayano didn't know whether to be sad or relieved. On one hand, hearing others talk about her sister would reopen her wounds, but on the other hand, Aguri would be so hurt to learn that her precious students didn't care for her. She observed her classmates' guileless faces. _What a bunch of ungrateful brats,_ she thought bitterly.

But enough complaining. Kayano raised her chin. She had business to do.

* * *

Itona looked at the multi-coloured pills in front of him. He picked one up. It was red and as big as his thumb. He wondered how it was going to move down his throat.

"Itona-kun, take all of these pills." Shiro's voice, slightly distorted by the intercom, sounded from above.

Shiro never explained what the pills did, but Itona assumed they were special painkillers. He took a small blue pill, placed it on his tongue, and washed it down with water. One down, six more to go.

The second pill was powdery and sour. Itona felt the icy water trickle down his throat. He imagined unknown chemicals intruding into his system. For some reason, his head began to throb and burn. Huh, weren't the pills supposed to curb the pain?

Another pill. Another sip of water. He swallowed the pills, again and again, his mouth becoming oversaturated with water and bitterness. He picked up another pill. His trembling fingers reached for his glass of water. Drink. Swallow. Repeat.

 _That's right. That's right._ The only thing he could do was to swallow–swallow the nauseating pills, swallow his pain, swallow everything–force everything inside until he burst–

* * *

Kayano found him.

He was the perfect choice. He was short, small, and had a build like her's. He was quiet, calm, and polite. His blue hair, tied in a neat ponytail, was going to be her new canvas. It would be so easy to use this boy.

The boy suddenly looked up, sapphire eyes piercing straight into hers. Kayano could feel bloodlust subtly emitting from him, which would serve as a decent cover for her own bloodlust. Kayano was delighted. Then horrified.

 _What_ had this fourteen-year-old kid gone through? How did he develop his bloodlust, and why did he seem so… so calm about it? And worse of all, why was Kayano's initial reaction _delight_? Not disgust or anger or even curiosity? Had she forgotten what kindness was, having ditched that in favour for revenge? This kid could be going through serious trauma, and apparently Kayano only cared about his usefulness.

 _Guess I'm no different from Yanagisawa,_ Kayano thought grimly.

She approached the boy with a carefully designed smile. They chatted for a bit, and as they talked, Kayano found it easier and easier to lie. She was just Kayano Kaede, a clueless but normal new student at 3-E. It was that simple.

She finally pulled out her trump card. With a new hairstyle for the boy in mind, Kayano dug around her pockets for some hairbands. A strand of her old dark hair was still twisted around a hairband. Kayano carelessly plucked it out and let it flutter to the ground. The boy didn't notice.

She swiftly tied the boy's hair in pigtails, and Kayano had to admit, she had done a great job. Not only did he look even more like her, he actually looked cuter and more… unique. He could now serve as the "protagonist" of this drama, and she would remain in the shadow as his "sidekick". Shiota Nagisa, the boy with pigtails and an androgyneous appearance, and Kayano Kaede, his unassuming best friend.

" _I'm Kayano Kaede! Nice to meet you!"_

They really were the perfect duo.

* * *

They were stuck in the machines again. Him and the girl.

Itona loathed how the girl wouldn't even make a sound, even with the pain they were both enduring. She never screamed, whimpered, or even gasped. For one moment, Itona actually thought she was mute.

She _must_ be suffering too, right? Itona wasn't overreacting to the tentacles, right? Pain abruptly burst from his head and Itona clenched his teeth.

_Or was he just weak?_

Itona's arms spasmed as a million thoughts ran through his brain. He… he truly thought he could be special. That he could be stronger than anyone. Of course this random girl had to ruin it. The worse thing was, she wasn't even complaining about the pain! Couldn't he have a little bit of victory without being seen as inferior?!

It wasn't like the girl had been mean to him, like she'd physically defeated him, or she'd taken everything away from him. She simply existed in Itona's fucked-up world. Deep down, Itona knew she wasn't targeting him, but her very existence was enough to irritate him. And _that_ irritated Itona, because he knew he was attacking her for no good reason, which was exactly what a bully would do. And Itona knew what being bullied felt like.

But the second Itona felt the tiniest bit of guilt, the boiling anger from the tentacles would surge in and rekindle his hatred for that girl. Who cared about being hypocritical? Who cared about being someone he swore he'd never become? He was _furious._ He had nothing. Heck, he _should_ be allowed to feel angry–he deserved it, even.

For once, his tentacle maintenance ended earlier than the girl's. Itona stood up and grabbed his jacket. Fingers grabbing his sleeves, he made his way out of the room. Itona turned to see the girl still stuck inside the machine. As always, she remained quiet, but Itona swore he saw her petite body jerk and her limbs fight against her restraints. There was no hiding it–she was in pain too.

 _Not so strong now, Kayano Kaede,_ Itona thought. He thought he might feel triumphant, but there was just a hollowness in his chest.

* * *

Her sister's murderer was a yellow, smiley octopus wearing a graduation robe.

Well, that certainly sounded weird out of context.

Kayano noted that he looked awfully different from the mass of white tentacles she'd seen when he killed Aguri. So he had packaged himself into a harmless, squishy creature to hide his true murderous nature? That was oddly relatable–after all, Kayano was doing the same to conceal Akari's real intentions.

But the creature was still nameless.

Kayano knew she couldn't call him "my big sister's murderer" or "the scum of the earth" or "BITCH" in public, so Kayano decided she would name him something stupid. She would give him a fucking pun for a name, and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. _Ha._

She would call him Korosensei. A pun on "unkillable teacher".

It was such a dumb name. But for some reason, the creature and her classmates adored it. So his name was now Korosensei.

Was everyone using fake names now? Akari and Kayano, Yanagisawa and Shiro, whatever-his-name-was and Korosensei…

She supposed everyone had a past they wanted to hide.

* * *

"Fifty-nine… sixty…"

The researcher's cool, monotone voice echoed in the room. Itona did another push-up on the floor, his arms trembling with effort. Warm sweat dripped on the cool white tiles. He'd forgotten how many rounds he had done, but it didn't matter.

"Have a break," the researcher said, her voice devoid of emotion. Itona collapsed on the floor and breathed in deeply. His arms felt like shit right now, but Itona knew it was just temporary. If he trained every day, his arms would get muscular, and he would get stronger…

"Time's up."

Itona moved himself into ready position, and prepared for another gruelling round of push-ups.

* * *

Shiota Nagisa had a best friend. His name was Sugino, and he was a cheerful kid who loved baseball.

Kayano could immediately see Sugino was a genuinely nice person. He was extremely friendly without being annoying, plus he always seemed eager to help. With a personality like that, it was hard to dislike him.

It was hard not to get attached to him.

Sugino was innocent, naïve, and happy. Too innocent, actually. Kayano wondered how betrayed he would be when she revealed her true colours. Kayano didn't want to be the reason he had trust issues.

Chatting with Nagisa and Sugino was rather enjoyable. They were amiable and down-to-earth, unlike the pretentious child actors Kayano had the displeasure of meeting.

The rest of the class had also taken a liking to the sweet Kayano. There was something simple about 3-E, and Kayano didn't mean it in a bad way. This class wasn't tainted by the manipulation and lies that Kayano had faced in the film industry. They trusted and respected everyone. In the classroom, Kayano constantly found herself on guard, but there was practically no one to guard herself from. Which was unexpectedly nice, but the niceness of it ironically made Kayano suspicious.

Two weeks after school began, Kayano was suddenly plagued by horrific pain in the middle of class. It was even more painful than her initial contact with the cells. It felt like her skull was being smashed into a thousand little pieces. However, she was attending her target's lesson and couldn't afford to slip up. Her hand shook slightly, but that was the most she did. God, what would she do if she accidentally unleashed her tentacles in pain…

Immediately after school, she rushed towards Yanagisawa's facility. She hated relying on Yanagisawa but _damn_ was the pain unbearable. _Something_ needed to be done. She burst open the door, breathless, and nearly bumped into someone.

Yanagisawa, with his white robes, stood in front of her, hands nonchalantly shoved in his pockets.

" _Good, you're here."_


	6. Thaw

_Wha_ – _what is this…_

" _ **Shiro-san, this isn't supposed to happen!"**_

_Shiro… that freak…_

_wh-what did he-_

Something abruptly jabbed his arm. He flinched.

" _ **You THINK I don't know that?! Strap both of them in. Now."**_

A crash. Then distant ringing.

.

_._

_._

Pain. Pain was everywhere, tearing his skin apart. _How_ was it worse than the first time? Itona felt bile rise up in his throat.

" _ **Come over, Kayano-san."**_

His body tensed.

_NOT HER!_

He struggled but couldn't move. Wha–? He couldn't even feel his limbs; the pain had overshadowed everything else…

Voices and colours muddled into one. More and more liquids were injected into his body. Someone was screaming–was that him? He genuinely couldn't tell, he didn't have the mental capacity to… _think_ anymore…

Something trickled down his face. Itona prayed it was blood or sweat. It could _not_ be tears, he wasn't crying, he wasn't a _baby_ , he was Itona and he was strong-

It was suddenly difficult to breathe. There was a strange wetness in his nose. He sniffed. It felt cold.

.

.

.

Itona wondered if he was falling into the void. It hurt so badly he couldn't even feel it anymore. Everything had been fine last night–so why did he feel like dying now?

_Maybe giving up is easier…_

_._

_._

_Yeah…_

_._

_._

–a little voice slithered into his brain, snarling,

" _ **You wanted to be strong, didn't you!"**_

Itona's chapped lips parted weakly–

the tentacles had brought him back from the brink of death.

" _I-I want to be strong…"_

A laugh. " _ **Good boy."**_

All of a sudden, immeasurable rage violently barged into his system, filling him to the brim. The tentacles had made their vicious return. He was shaking, he was shaking so badly. His eyeballs were hot and his mouth was dry. He managed to tilt his head, the vague shape of another machine appearing in his blurry vision. Kayano, who was right next to him, remained still and silent, as if she was just _sleeping_.

Then Itona's brain went blank.

" _WHY ARE YOU STILL ACTING!"_ he screeched at the girl, spit flying from his mouth. He couldn't think, he could only act. " _STOP IT!_ _ **STOP IT!**_ I know you're hurting too!"

The girl turned ever-so-slightly in response, which pissed him off even more. He vaguely knew he wasn't making any sense, but he had lost every bit of impulse control by then.

"WE KNOW IT FUCKING HURTS!" he bawled. "Don't pretend it doesn't affect you! _**STOP HIDING YOUR PAIN!**_ "

Liquid was dripping from his face… he wrinkled his nose. His rage felt hollow and baseless but he could _not_ stop being angry.

"S-stop acting…"

He took in shallow breaths of air, lungs trembling like a leaf in the wind.

" _Stop acting… Kayano…"_

* * *

Kayano honestly didn't know what to say.

Of course she was mad at Itona for yelling at her, but the pain _was_ driving her insane, and she wouldn't be surprised if the tentacles had destabilized his mind.

… So he knew she was acting? That the agony was threatening her sanity? That wasn't odd considering they were dealing with the same pain.

Electric shock unexpectedly jolted through her head, and Kayano shuddered. She bit her lip, tasting blood yet again.

Ah, that was right. They didn't know each other at all, but they were united in the most horrific way–pain. And according to Yanagisawa, they were currently the only people in the entire world to receive such treatment. They were literally the only ones who could understand each other's torment.

Even Kayano's resolve was eroded by the hours of agony, resulting in strangled screams, which echoed Itona's shrieks. Their cries bounced off the walls, never reaching the ears of the researchers, yet reverberated endlessly in the tiny room, enforcing eternal torment.

It actually got worse when Itona couldn't scream anymore. His hoarse voice became softer and softer, until he barely managed to whimper. Every sound he made was a dagger in her.

Kayano couldn't bring herself to be triumphant. Theoretically, she would want to be stronger than Itona in every aspect, but in real life, she just couldn't do that to a boy her age. A boy like her.

It wasn't because of pity. He was suffering too–and Kayano, as someone who had suffered so much, couldn't bear to impose suffering on him.

After what felt like a decade, Yanagisawa finally released them for a break. Kayano felt like she'd just survived being tumbled around in a washing machine–every part of her body _hurt_. Kayano attempted to stand up, but her legs gave way. Bright colours spun in her vision, and Kayano shut her eyes, hoping to chase them away. Kayano knew no one was there to help her–Itona was likely dealing with his own problems, and all the researchers were observing them from above. But it was alright; Kayano could take care of herself.

A series of noises. Kayano opened one eye. A small platform rose up from the ground, and on it were a tall glass of water and two bananas. So these were Yanagisawa's "refreshments". Kayano blindly snatched the glass and downed the water. Without delay, she hurriedly peeled a banana and gobbled it up, forcing it down her throat. After that torturous maintenance, she _desperately_ craved food.

Before she knew it, she had demolished both of the bananas. Yet her stomach still rumbled, demanding for more. Almost automatically, Kayano glanced at Itona. He raised his eyes, and for the first time, his eyes weren't clouded by bloodlust, which was quite the refreshing change.

Kayano looked at Itona.

Itona looked at Kayano.

In almost perfect unison, they turned to look at Yanagisawa, who was above them. Yanagisawa (that _bastard!_ ) wasn't even observing them, choosing to dedicate his focus to some computer screen. None of the researchers were paying attention to them either.

Itona's stomach growled noisily. No one batted an eyelid.

Kayano used a tentacle to pick up a banana peel. In one swift motion, she threw it at the reinforced glass Yanagisawa was behind. The impact echoed in the air and Kayano watched in mild satisfaction as the peel slid down the glass, creating a trial of mush.

"They've got to clean it up now," Itona remarked in a cool and indifferent voice.

Kayano snorted. "Isn't that the point?"

Itona's expression remained stoic, but Kayano swore she saw the hint of a grin on his face. Kayano vaguely recalled that was probably their first official interaction without the influence of the tentacles.

Finally, _finally_ , after Kayano's rather… assertive actions, Yanagisawa realized (or remembered) his two test subjects were starving. He nonchalantly waved a hand and sent them more bananas.

Satisfied, Kayano smirked and peered at Itona, but he had turned away. Unfazed, Kayano returned her focus to the newly-arrived food.

All was well until she abruptly heard someone fall over.

Itona crashed on the ground, one hand clutching his stomach. His limbs were shaking as if he'd been shocked. His mouth hung open, and his skin was as pale as snow. A fearless Kayano took one step closer–

Red blood splattered the pristine white tiles. Itona raised a hand to his mouth, eyes wide with surprise. His eyes trailed down to his bloodstained clothes, then at his tainted hands. His lip trembled.

"Itona!" Kayano couldn't help but cry out. She dashed to his side. At the same time, she surveyed the amount of blood he had vomited. She froze - that was a lot of blood. She instinctively raised an arm-

"Don't get closer!" Itona growled and shifted away. Or at least, he _tried_ to shift away, but he was too weak to move. Kayano noticed his hostile scowl and knitted eyebrows, but years of being an actress allowed her to see through his tough exterior.

He was desperate. He was miserable. He was _terrified._

Kayano hastily grabbed his glass of water and shoved it in front of Itona. "At–at least drink this."

He glared at her, and Kayano had never seen such an intense look of hatred. "GO AWAY!" he roared, droplets of blood and saliva flying from his mouth. "STOP TRYING TO HELP ME–" He was cut short by hacking coughs.

"Don't waste your breath," Kayano got out hurriedly. "I know what you're thinking, that I'm supposed to hate you and relish in how you're suffering. I know you think I'm being fake. I know you think I'm pretending the pain doesn't bother me. I know all of this because I _know_ what you're going through." She exhaled. "I know what it feels like. And I would never want to force that on anybody. So _please,_ " she looked at him with pleading eyes, "let me help you."

Itona stared at Kayano for a long time.

Carefully, Kayano extended her arm–a soundless plea for him to take the glass.

Itona pondered for a few seconds, then snatched it from her hands. He raised it to his mouth, but his arm wobbled and spilled the water everywhere, further dirtying his clothes.

Kayano quickly scuttled around the room and fetched some tissues. She was about to dab on Itona's clothes, but remembered he didn't like being touched, so awkwardly withdrew her arm. After a moment of hesitation, Itona took the tissues from her. He immediately ducked his head, probably to avoid eye contact.

It might not seem much, but at least Itona wasn't crawling away in repulsion. She took more tissues and even gave him her glass of water. And he accepted it. Maybe he was too weak, maybe he was too tired of it all, but he didn't resist her anymore.

And that was slightly comforting.

* * *

Itona didn't even know what to feel.

His first instinct was to leap away from Kayano. And yet, when his battered body refused to cooperate, thus allowing Kayano to approach him, something weird tugged on his heartstrings.

Itona sneaked a look at Shiro and the researchers. His stomach twisted when he found out they were all straight up ignoring him, even his so-called guardian. An oh-so-familiar coldness seeped into his heart, and his heart crumpled up like a piece of paper.

_So no one cared._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_I should've known._

Something in his face. Itona blinked once, then twice. A… glass of water. From Kayano. Who was looking at him with what appeared to be _actual_ concern.

After she insisted repeatedly, he finally took that damn glass of water, only to spill it all over himself. Cool water trickled down his skin and mingled with the warm sticky blood.

And yet, Kayano didn't leave. Not with his disgusting blood clinging onto her fingers, not with the total mess he was producing. Kayano patiently fetched him tissue after tissue, and offered him _her_ glass after he'd spilled his water. Normally, Itona would've regarded her kindness with suspicion, but at that point, he was exhausted. Exhausted by the tentacles, exhausted by the frequent mind games. God, even if it was fake, he just–he just wanted to be _helped._

Awkwardly enough, the longer Kayano stayed by his side, the more he fumbled and dropped things. At first he attributed it to the tentacles, but there was a strange twist in his stomach which made him incredibly nervous. Soon, he was shaking so badly he could barely pick up items.

Kayano looked at him again, silently asking for his permission. Itona gave her a tiny, careful nod. The Kayano cautiously pressed tissues to his wet clothes.

Itona didn't realize how cold he was until her warm hand touched his skin.

… It was weird, wasn't it? This entire thing. Kayano helping him. Months of mistreatment told him she couldn't be trusted, yet a larger part screamed at him to _**stay**_ _._ Kayano's touch was gentle, and the more she touched him, more and more confusing emotions swelled inside him. It was odd, but it wasn't jarring. Itona was just… unused to feeling that way. He felt strangely bitter… calm… soft... and she awakened emotions he hadn't experienced for so, so long.

Itona didn't have a word for it. He only remembered he'd encountered this emotion years and years ago, back at his home, back when he was a kid, back when he had a _family_ …

He returned to reality. Kayano's face was pale and sweaty, and she was probably exhausted. She didn't flinch, but Itona could see a slight tremor in her hands. Her hands that were now calmly swiping tissues across his clothes.

It felt... nice.

It felt nice, even with his fucked-up brain and fucked-up body and his blood splattered around him. It felt _nice_ , despite everything else.

And when Itona looked at Kayano again, as she continued to help him even though she was in pain herself–

He realized he couldn't hate her anymore.


	7. Lukewarm

Itona didn't know what he and Kayano were.

They weren't exactly friends, but they weren't strangers either. They were acquaintances, but that didn't feel like the right word.

Despite that, Itona didn't mind Kayano as much. Obviously, he still desired to be stronger than her, but he respected Kayano now.

So when Shiro gave him a phone, he immediately asked for Kayano's number. It had been a couple months since Shiro had adopted him and he was actually feeling pretty okay, both physically and mentally. Shiro probably thought so too, so he allowed Itona to go out and gave him a bit of money to spend. Albeit, the phone he gave Itona was pretty old and laggy, but at least it was functioning.

Itona's first thought was to meet up with Kayano outside of the lab–after all, she was the only person Itona liked. So he quickly texted Kayano and they agreed on a time and place. Kayano said she would meet him after school at a park.

Admittedly, Itona hadn't been around much in Kunugigaoka. He'd been stuck in Shiro's lab and had limited knowledge of the town, so he ended up lost. If Itona was a little more reckless, he would use his tentacles to travel faster, but he didn't trust himself with that yet. But he knew soon, he could do whatever he wanted.

Fortunately, Kayano managed to find him. Itona was ashamed to confess he couldn't recognize Kayano at first–her hair colour and build were the same, but her cutesy cat-like pigtails just didn't suit the fierce Kayano one bit. She looked so innocent in her school uniform, and if Itona didn't know her, he would've never thought she was an assassin-in-training.

"Sorry, I got lost. You look different by the way," Itona told Kayano bluntly.

Kayano self-consciously raised a hand to her pigtails. "Oh, I suppose that's the point. Should I let it down?"

"It's fine. Besides, I'll have to get used to it when I enter the class."

A pause. "Yeah. When are you joining, anyway?"

"Shiro said a few months later. It depends on my condition, and so far, I'm doing fine."

Kayano nodded absent-mindedly. She sat down on a bench and gestured for Itona to sit. "Have you ever been out of the facility since you joined AKELOTA?"

"No. This is my first time."

"Ahh, I see."

The warm spring breeze felt refreshing against Itona's skin–he was so used to the air conditioning in the facility. Kayano took out various snacks from her bag and Itona eyed them curiously.

Kayano smiled and handed him a chocolate bar. "I thought we might have similar tastes in food because of the tentacles cells. I know we're pitted against each other in the lab, so here's a peace offering."

"Oh… thanks. I should've brought some food too."

Kayano waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine! I bet Shiro doesn't even give you pocket money."

 _How ignorant,_ Itona thought. "He actually gave me a bit of cash but I spent it on clothes and manga," he said, his voice muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.

Kayano raised an eyebrow sassily; it somehow clashed with the cute image she was trying to present. "Oh? He doesn't seem like the type of person to care."

Itona felt oddly defensive of his guardian. "He's a freak but at least he's helping us with the cells," he retorted. "He's not all bad."

Kayano glanced at him and nodded slowly. " _Sure_ , Itona," she drawled.

He knew Kayano was just teasing him, but her body language _was_ faintly irritating. After she said that, there was an awkward silence between them, the only sound being Itona furiously munching his chocolate.

To change the topic, Itona said abruptly, "Can I ask you a question about Shiro?"

Kayano's nose wrinkled ever-so-slightly, and she replied, "Sure."

(Itona had a hunch Kayano wasn't all that eager, but he pretended he couldn't sense the scepticism.)

"It's a stupid question, but what does AKELOTA stand for? I hear it and see it _everywhere_ , it's been months and I still have no idea what it means."

Kayano actually chuckled and tossed a business card at him. "See for yourself. It means _Advanced Killers' Effective Lethality: Operation Tentacle Action._ Which is the worst possible name for a plan like this. I bet elementary schoolers can come up with something more sophisticated."

However, Itona was (understandably) distracted by something else. "You _seriously_ carry this card around you at all times?"

"What? It's hilarious and dumb. I carry it around for shits and giggles," Kayano insisted, but Itona wasn't convinced.

"Ass kisser," he mocked her.

Kayano raised an eyebrow. "Me? Ass kisser? How about you, _Mr. I don't talk shit about Shiro_?"

"You got a problem with that, Kayano?"

Their relationship was still rocky and clumsy, and they had conflicting views on Shiro, but at least they could bond over food. Itona had a feeling Kayano didn't like Shiro much, but she didn't say much about it. Itona didn't ask.

Seeing Kayano in her pigtails and Kunugigaoka uniform was still odd and surreal. Speaking of Kunugigaoka, she wanted to talk about her classmates, but Itona told her not to as to "prevent spoilers".

"They're not supposed to know we know each other," Itona pointed out. "It's better if my reaction to them is genuine."

"Fair enough." Kayano thoughtfully tapped on her chin. "You know, the class isn't bad. Most people are friendly and trusting." A pause. "When I say trusting, I actually mean naïve."

"Oh, I see."

If Itona was honest, he was a bit nervous about joining the class. Just a _bit_ , mind you! He hadn't had the best experience with his peers, but now he had Shiro. He had his tentacles. He was strong.

He wasn't afraid of stupid common kids anymore.

* * *

Kayano had a sneaking suspicion the diligent and serious Kanzaki had a hidden side.

And she was right.

She just never expected to know it in such a horrific way.

Kidnapped in Kyoto during a school trip… the boys all beat up… and Kanzaki exposed as a party girl…

And being mocked by mere _highschoolers._

Kayano was beyond furious. She didn't mind being beat up herself, but when they jeered at poor Kanzaki, Kayano was at her limit. Her bloodthirsty tentacles violently thrashed inside her, begging to be unleashed. It took every bit of her self control to restrain herself. She _had_ to keep a low profile for her ultimate plan and risking it all right now was logically not worth it. She desperately tried to ignore her tentacles, which were chanting _kill kill kill_ _ **kill KILL**_ -

Kanzaki's "party girl" side was so absurdly different from the gentle schoolgirl side Kayano saw at school… but then again, Kayano wasn't completely surprised. After all, _she_ had a secret side as well. And oddly, even though Kanzaki had no clue about Kayano's identity, Kayano felt like she could relate to Kanzaki now.

She wanted to tell Kanzaki she was valid. That she understood the need to run away from who others perceived you to be. That she understood the difficulties of hair dyeing and speaking differently and wearing another set of clothes–everything about forging a new identity. But she _couldn't_ , and could only offer shallow words of support. At least Kanzaki seemed to appreciate that.

There was another thing Kayano discovered–she actually cared about her classmates now. She didn't want to see _any_ of them hurt in any way. It might've taken her tentacles to actually rage for Kayano to realize her attachment to 3-E, but she now knew her classmates weren't just props in her revenge plan. They were people, and Kayano might even dare to say, her friends.

And even if it meant successfully killing Korosensei–

Kayano wouldn't want to hurt her classmates for that.

* * *

"I just returned from a school trip to Kyoto."

Itona tossed a cup of pudding at Kayano, who caught with it ease. He felt bad he didn't bring any snacks, so he took the initiative to get some this time.

"Oh, that's why you didn't come to the lab for the last few days."

"I thought I texted you about it?"

It was funny how they saw each other every day, but communicated via text. Somehow, they had both silently agreed to ignore each other in front of Shiro.

"Oh, right. My phone broke down, I should have time to fix it tonight."

Kayano's eyebrows jerked up as she elegantly scooped pudding into her mouth. "You can fix phones? That's so cool!"

Something inside Itona leapt when he heard that compliment, but he forced it down. "Ah, I guess it's something I can do," he said modestly. He wasn't too willing to talk about _why_ he knew how to fix phones, but thankfully, Kayano didn't press.

"By the way, I got you a souvenir from Kyoto!" Kayano told him brightly.

He snorted. "Oh, you mean you got me an obnoxious money-grabbing T-shirt or something?"

Kayano shot him a glare, offended. "Geez! I actually put thought in this gift!" she whined, which seemed slightly out-of-character, but Itona couldn't judge because he barely knew her.

A keychain dangled in front of his face. Itona blinked and stared at the knitted white tiger on the keychain. It looked back at him with black beady eyes.

"Your name means 'thread' or something like that, right? Well, the sign said these keychains were hand-knitted, and this cute tiger reminded me of you, so I got this for you." Kayano dropped the keychain into his palm with a gentle smile. "So?" She moved closer, amber eyes wide with expectation. "What do you think?"

Itona turned the little knitted tiger over. He poked the tiger. It was soft and squishy.

"What even is this?" he said bluntly. "You couldn't even give me something I could _use_?"

Kayano looked a little hurt, but swiftly hid it. She reached for the tiger. "If you don't want it, just say so-"

Itona snatched it back and held it protectively. He even shifted away from her defensively. "Didn't say I didn't want it," he muttered quickly.

And then Kayano laughed.

She clutched her stomach and _laughed._

"S-stop laughing!" Itona choked out, equal parts mystified and horribly embarrassed. What the _heck_ was up with this girl?

Kayano wiped happy tears from her eyes. "Aww, Itona, you're so cute," she gushed.

"I'm not. You're delusional."

"Just say that you like it!" Kayano exclaimed, still giggling. "It's not that difficult."

Itona gazed at the tiny white tiger again, and ran a thumb over it. The tiger even had a pink nose and mini whiskers. Itona supposed that thing could be called "cute". A half-smile quirked on his lips.

"Thanks, I guess."

But what made him feel weird and warm was that Kayano had bothered to get him something. They weren't even friends, plus they were supposed to be competitors, and yet, she _cared_. She cared enough to buy this dumb tiger keychain, with its white colour (just like his hair) and "hand-knitted" symbolism or whatever bullshit.

Itona didn't want to admit it, but he was scared. Scared that he might start to like someone and be let down again. And Kayano certainly wasn't who she appeared to be. She hid her tentacles from her classmates, plus she seemed to know something about Shiro. What else was she hiding from everyone?

But at least Kayano was trying to be nice. And even if she had her secrets, Itona was glad he had someone who understood him.


	8. Numb

_June 16._

Itona's head throbbed.

_June 16… the day everything would change._

_**The day he would kill his brother.** _

Itona vaguely remembered in the weeks leading up to the crucial assassination, Shiro stopped letting him leave the facility. " _To keep you safe,_ " he said. Itona spent his days either training or strapped to the machine… Shiro visited him daily, bringing him new pills every night… with every passing day, the tentacles grew in strength and size… the agony accumulated. It hurt it _hurt_ so much he couldn't even think.

So Shiro injected chemicals to "soothe the pain"... but they just made Itona lightheaded and weak. He started to hear whispers… from the tentacles… from Shiro…

_"That creature is now your brother…"_

"But-"

 _"_ _**Kill. It.** _ _"_

 _"You're strong, you're strong, you're strong_ – _"_

He inhaled sharply. Something was off, but he couldn't place a name on it…

 _Stop resisting… stop_ _**resisting** _ _!_

…

…

A soothing voice…

_**We'll make you strong. We just want the best for you.** _

.

.

.

.

.

* * *

Itona was strong. Even though it was raining on the morning of June 16, the water couldn't hurt him anymore. He batted the raindrops away with his tentacles; it was so easy, too easy. He laughed a little. He wasn't powerless.

He felt drunk. Drunk on power, drunk on hubris. He was above the stupid kids in 3-E, he was even stronger than that weird supernatural creature that was his brother. He was even above Kayano–

A little voice in him protested. Itona didn't know why, it just didn't feel _right_ to demean Kayano, but it quickly dissipated and everything was back to normal.

He smashed through the wall and barely felt a thing. Itona held his head up high and wiped all emotions off his face. Maybe if he acted dramatically aloof, no one would make fun of him like they used to do? The common kids all looked at him with fear and respect–exactly what he deserved. That redhead boy was aggravating but Itona just squashed him like a bug. And if Itona was stronger than the strongest kid in the class, he didn't have anyone to be scared of.

It was funny how a few months ago, he was bullied by his old class for being "pathetic" and "weird". Now, with his "brother" gimmick, Itona was surely seen as weird as well, but because he was strong, so _strong_ , no one would dare to harass him.

With every bell that rang, Itona knew his brother was closer to his demise. He didn't smirk or laugh, he just sat there motionlessly, patiently, as if he was a god of death.

He managed to sneak Kayano a few looks. She appeared to be good at acting. Itona didn't want to expose her, so he stopped staring at her.

Finally, finally, it was time. Itona's tentacles were itching for a fight, and he was desperate to prove how strong he was. After the ring of desks were arranged, Itona casually tossed his jacket away, revealing his now muscular arms. With a hot shiver of satisfaction, he realized the bruises from his bullies had disappeared.

He wasn't Horibe Itona, son of two failures, a weak kid who could barely defend himself from bullies.

He was Itona, the strongest assassin in the world.

With his guardian standing loyally at the sides, Itona was confident he could win. He unleashed his tentacles and coolly observed how everyone's jaws dropped in shock. He was one step ahead of everyone else.

" _ **Die, brother."**_

Itona's memory then became hazy. He attacked ruthlessly, tentacles chopping off the creature's legs. His head pounded but the bloodlust felt so, so _good…_ he was so consumed by the tentacles he could barely think.

But did he need to think?

Shiro had perfected the techniques and strategies.

Itona just needed to follow his instructions.

.

.

.

He was winning. He was _actually_ winning. He was strong, he was victorious! The creature was wide open. Just one final blow–

Wait.

Why did his tentacles suddenly feel so slimy? Horrified, he stared at the green knife on the floor, what the heck was that-

_Wait!_

He was suddenly trapped inside… something? Everything happened so quickly–and now he was flying through the air-

He crashed through a window and heard glass and wood splinter. His brain froze and his ears rang as he struggled to catch up with reality. But surprisingly enough, the fall didn't hurt?

"You… took damage.. ring…"

tona couldn't understand what the creature was saying. He blearily looked around but he was still as confused…

Then he heard the words, "It's my win."

Time stopped.

It was the _creature's_ win.

Not _**his**_ win.

He lost the fight. Impossible. No. _No._ His arms jerked as if he was electrocuted. His eyes grew unnaturally hot and he screamed. He could barely hear himself.

He was strong–he had the tentacles– _he had to be stronger than everyone else_ –

Then his tentacles roared and he was consumed by boiling black.

* * *

Kayano couldn't help but be worried for Itona. It was his first real day at school, after all.

She hadn't seen him in a week or so, and now her sister's murderer was beating him up. She swallowed. She wanted to kill Korosensei herself, but didn't want to see Itona get hurt as well.

And then Itona lost it.

His pupils shrunk and his tentacles turned pure black. They thrashed wildly, as erratic as Itona's thoughts. Itona started to scream and howl. Kayano's classmates self-consciously took a step back, and Kayano followed suit. She nervously scratched the back of her neck–would she be the same? Would she lose it too?

And then Yanagisawa shot Itona with a tranquilizer dart.

Kayano gasped. Itona's eyes rolled back and he promptly collapsed.

No one said a word.

Yanagisawa nonchalantly picked Itona up, then flung him over his shoulder as if he was a sack of potatoes.

Now Kayano felt like _she_ was about to lose it too. She clenched her fist and held back the urge to punch Yanagisawa in the face. Yanagisawa didn't even _pretend_ to care for Itona in front of everyone else...

" _I will take it upon myself to serve as his home tutor until then."_

Kayano wanted to slap him. Yanagisawa had the _audacity_ to call himself Itona's guardian and tutor when he treated him like shit? But she remained rooted to the floor, because she was the demure Kayano Kaede who knew neither Yanagisawa nor Itona. Helplessly, she watched as Yanagisawa took Itona away.

Kayano was disturbed and furious for the rest of the day, but she told herself at least she could see Itona in the lab. Maybe she could even talk to him. However, her hope crumbled when she was redirected to a different room the moment she entered the facility.

Kayano's blood froze to ice. Yanagisawa _did_ say they would get separate rooms, but Kayano didn't think it would be this soon…

"Pardon. I thought it's the other way?" she asked a researcher politely.

"Shiro-san said your new room is here. He believes the boy is too dangerous to be around."

Kayano swallowed thickly. "I see."

Now she couldn't even _see_ Itona for the foreseeable future. He was definitely unstable after his first assassination attempt, and for the first time, Kayano had no chance of calming him down.

… She really hoped she could change things soon.


	9. Drown

Wake up.

Eat.

Train.

Swallow pills.

Tentacle maintenance.

Undergo weird experiments.

Repeat.

Sleep.

.

.

.

Wake up.

Eat.

Train.

Swallow pills.

Tentacle maintenance.

Wait for Kayano to appear.

Swallow more pills.

Repeat.

Sleep.

.

.

.

Wake up.

Eat.

Train.

Swallow pills.

Tentacle maintenance.

Wonder where Kayano is.

Ask Shiro for a phone.

Get knocked out for unknown lengths of time.

Sleep.

.

.

.

"Your second assassination attempt is approaching. Don't worry, this time I've enlisted the help of someone."

"..."

A sigh. "Don't let me down, Itona-kun. You're strong and determined; it would be a waste if you give up. Don't forget your vision."

Itona's lip curled. "I won't give up!" he snarled.

Shiro petted Itona's head. "That's the spirit!" he exclaimed cheerfully. "By the way, do you want to meet our accomplice?"

Itona's heart leapt. If he agreed, there was a chance he could go outside. "Sure," he replied coolly.

It turned out the accomplice was some kid from 3-E. Terasaka had a brawny, powerful build. The brutish way he spoke reminded Itona of one of his old bullies. Itona could perceive that this kid was the class delinquent.

Itona used to be afraid of bullies like Terasaka, but he'd gotten over his irrational fear. He'd realized while bullies may be physically strong, they couldn't be more emotionally weak. They were so eager to satisfy their ego they decided to trample on others. And that was the most despicable thing ever.

So Itona told Terasaka he had no "vision". And they both knew Itona was right. Itona had a vision–he wanted to be strong. He wanted to be victorious. But Terasaka? He was just pissed off by his class and attracted by the money. Foolish, shallow Terasaka.

Terasaka was such a dense brick; he didn't even _realize_ he was Itona and Shiro's pawn. Itona couldn't be afraid of someone whose head was stuffed with pure horseshit. Even if he was a bully.

Back at the facility, Shiro told Itona some of his classmates might be hurt during assassination attempt. Itona wanted to feel bad for his classmates, he really did, but he couldn't. It was as if his compassion and human decency had been snatched away, and Itona couldn't even feel bad about _not_ feeling bad. It was most peculiar and a little terrifying, but Shiro injected something into his arm and his thoughts faded away, leaving him with peaceful calmness.

"We'll pay for their medical fees, right?" Itona asked.

"Of course. It's the right thing to do."

…

Something flitted into Itona's mind. "Don't hurt Kayano," he choked out.

"Hmm?"

Itona repeated his sentence, this time a little louder. " _Don't hurt Kayano_. She's on our side. We shouldn't endanger her. Tell her to avoid water."

A pause. "Alright, I'll tell her." Shiro sounded slightly amused, which would've irritated Itona, but now he couldn't find the energy to care.

* * *

Shiro, to his credit, _did_ tell Kayano.

He told her to _"avoid aqueous solutions and precipitation as the tentacles are highly absorbent."_

Kayano thought he was being a pretentious ass. He could've just told her to "AVOID WATER", as simple as that.

But when Kayano saw the beautiful pool Korosensei had created, she had to jump into the clear water. If she kept her neck above water, she should be fine, right?

Except she wasn't.

An explosion ripped through the air and Kayano was suddenly swept away by the current. She struggled to stay afloat. Her classmates' hysterical screams surrounded her, and Kayano realized they were quickly approaching a waterfall. Kayano's blood chilled. _Only Yanagisawa can do something this despicable!_

A yellow tentacle wrapped around her waist and hoisted her up. Kayano looked up and beamed. "Thanks, Korosensei!"

"No need to thank me!" Korosensei immediately zoomed off to save another kid. Kayano noticed his tentacles were swelling, and inwardly scoffed. So her sister's murderer was willing to risk his life for the class…

Thankfully, most of her classmates were safe. A flash of white caught her eye, and Kayano tensed. So this was indeed Itona (and Yanagisawa's) assassination attempt. She bit her lip. Fuck them for hurting her classmates!

Itona and Korosensei were fighting again. Kayano hadn't seen Itona for a few weeks, and maybe it was just her imagination, but the look in his eyes was a little crazier. She swallowed, suddenly filled with unease.

To keep up her pretense as a weak student, Kayano gripped Kataoka's arm. Together, along with the rest of the class, they helplessly observed Itona's assassination attempt.

* * *

_Kill. Kill._ _**Kill.** _

Itona couldn't hear anything except the frantic whispers of his tentacles. Deep down, he was disturbed at the thought of innocent people dying, but the tentacles chased those thoughts away.

A yellow blob appeared in his vision–Itona grabbed the creature and hurled it into the water. He watched in satisfaction as the creature swelled up.

" _Come, brother. Let's once again determine which of us is the strongest._ "

… He won't lose again. He was strong! Even stronger than before!

Everything was going well until that brute Teraska challenged him. It was pitiable, almost laughable. Itona's eyes narrowed. Now, he could beat Terasaka senseless. It was a sort of twisted revenge against people like Tersaka, the arrogant, foolish assholes who bullied him. He raised a tentacle–

A familiar flash of green.

He looked up to see Kayano. Her hair was wet and she was clutching somebody for support. His heart stopped. _Kayano had been in the pool_ –there was no doubt about it.

Rage exploded inside him. She… she was supposed to be _safe_! That freak Shiro warned her, didn't he?!

Itona suddenly wanted to vomit.

_**KAYANO WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE INVOLVED!** _

His tentacle faltered, and hit Teraska with less strength than normal. He didn't even have time to ponder that before his tentacles jerked and he sneezed.

_Fuck._

That bastard bully had tricked him! The chemicals that exhausted the creature's mucus were now used against him! And to top it all off, Kayano was in the pool–the situation was fucking awful–

Then the entire class jumped.

They surrounded him with laughs and giggles and splashed him with the contaminated water. All he could see were numerous hands and cold, cold water flying towards him.

Paralyzing fear seized him like never before. Shit–he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. The damn water was everywhere, draining his strength from him. And everyone was ganging up on him, even the redhead, even the "weak" ones. The freezing water soaked his shirt and trickled down his sweaty skin.

He wanted to run. He wanted to fight. But he couldn't do anything, he was frozen–frozen in space, frozen in time. This was exactly like the situation a couple months ago–when he was bulli–

" _We shall withdraw."_

No! Itona didn't want to go! He had to prove himself! He was stronger than those stupid kids! He furiously wiped snot off his face. He had to–

" _We're leaving, Itona._ "

Utterly drenched, Itona continued to stand there. He desperately hunted for Kayano's signature cat pigtails to no avail. His pulse quickened.

The creature, his target, started to speak. "How about you have a nice fun class with everyone else?" Isn't it about time you begin attending school properly?"

 _Nice?_ _ **Fun?**_ _Are you kidding me?!_ Itona clenched his fist. _I don't wanna see these… these_ _ **bullies**_ _ever again! I-_

"Itona!" Shiro called once more.

Something snapped inside him. He could barely register how he propelled himself away from the kids. He blindly followed after his guardian. Shiro… Shiro would keep him safe.

He walked at a furious pace. He had lost– _again._ Not only did he lose to that creature, he also lost to an ex-bully. And the entire fucking class. That was miserable. And pathetic. His arms trembled, whether from cold, fear, or anger–he didn't know anymore.

And Kayano–what was up with her? Didn't she get the memo! And now sh-she was _hurt_ , because of _him_ –

Shiro was saying something, but Itona wasn't listening at all. He whirled to his "guardian", eyes blazing.

"WHY WAS KAYANO IN THE POOL!" he barked, voice quivering. His tentacles started to thrash again. "Y-you said… _you said_ …"

Everything was going terribly wrong–

He failed.

He was weak.

He lost control.

He hurt innocent people. He hurt Kayano.

(… He hadn't seen Kayano in weeks.)

Shiro lied to him.

Shiro told him Kayano would be safe–she wasn't.

Different emotions overwhelmed his brain, and Itona didn't know what to do. His black tentacles writhed and Itona felt his mind go blank.

_"Ahh, you're making that face again, Itona-kun."_

_Wha_ –

A tranquilizer dart on his neck.

His legs gave way.

He dizzily looked up at Shiro.

That was what happened last time–if he misbehaved he would be shot–


	10. Frost

_Strengthpainkillfailurevictoryweak_ –

He gasped for air. Water filled his lungs.

 _Furyhurtdisappointmentfearguilt_ –

He convulsed. Someone was screaming. He knew he had hurt someone–

 _Watercoldfreezinghotanger_ _ **anger**_ _andFEAR_ –

The tentacles fried his nerves and tore his cells apart. A thousand emotions ran through his head, overheating his brain.

Machines beeped–people spoke in hushed voices–

_"Immobilize him…"_

–He didn't like it. He wanted the physical pain and emotional pain to go away…

 _"AKELOTA must continue… all for nothing..._ "

_"But sir… sir!_ _**Look at him** _ _."_

He wanted to escape. Running away was foolish and pathetic but he just _had_ to. Everything _hurt_ and _hurt._

.

.

.

He hated himself. He was running away from his problems like a coward, running away from the consequences of hurting innocents, running away from his only chance at victory…

… he missed his parents.

He knew they fucking sucked but they managed to comfort him when he was a kid… it would be nice if they could talk to him now…

… Obviously they couldn't. After all, they abandoned him.

.

_Beep. Whizz._

A needle stabbed his arm.

He vaguely heard the tentacles shriek " _ **endure the pain!"**_.

.

.

.

Wait, someone else ended up adopting him. _Shiro._ Shiro–Shiro was his guardian! He opened his eyes but couldn't see anything… where was Shiro?

Knowing him, Shiro was probably observing from above like some all-mighty god… a distant god. Unapproachable and cold. He even put Kayano in danger...

It was okay. He knew his parents left him, and Shiro couldn't be there for him, and it was okay. He was strong, he was strong, he was _**strong**_.

… Except he didn't feel strong at all.

It was like that time a month ago… the most intense pain he'd ever experienced… he was vomiting blood… and someone had helped him.

_Kayano had helped him._

Kayano cared about him because she understood him. Surely she wouldn't leave him as well… even though she hadn't seen him for weeks.

" _K-Kayano…_ "

His voice was weak and tiny. He didn't want to admit it, but he really missed her… he wished she was there. It was immensely mortifying, but he… he wanted her to help him.

" _Kayano_ … _**don't leave me**_ **."**

* * *

Two weeks after Itona's second assassination attempt, Kayano was finally allowed to see Itona. With a bag of snacks and candies in her arms, she followed the researchers down an unfamiliar corridor into an unfamiliar room. It wasn't until Kayano saw the bed inside that she realized this wasn't Itona's maintenance room, it was his bedroom.

At first, Kayano didn't understand why Yanagisawa let her visit, but the dismal sight that greeted her eyes told her everything.

Multiple straps rigidly held the tiny boy in place. Itona's skin was as pale as his hair. He kept on shifting and struggling against the straps, but his eyes were clenched shut. Kayano's blood chilled when she saw light pink scratches running down Itona's exposed arms.

_Kayano was there to stabilize his mental state._

Kayano took a cautious look around. In addition to the meagre pieces of furniture, the windowless room was packed with cameras, most of them pointing towards Itona. It was _just_ like Yanagisawa to monitor a fourteen-year-old. Knowing that bastard, he'd probably spammed the place with hidden microphones. Thankfully, Kayano had come prepared so she didn't need to say anything controversial.

"Itona?" she called out.

Itona jolted. He stopped struggling and pried his eyes open. "Oh, you," he mumbled, trying to keep his voice steady.

Kayano gave him a small smile and took a step closer. "Yeah, it's me. How do you feel?"

"Like shit," Itona told her bluntly. There was something about him: maybe it was his dim eyes, maybe it was his trembling lips, maybe it was the obvious scratches on his arms, but Kayano felt he was pretending (and failing) to be tough. He was clearly suffering, yet he wanted to act like nothing had happened. Knowing that Yanagisawa was watching their every move, Kayano didn't press him further.

Kayano tried to comfort him. "Hey, you're not _weak_ for failing to kill Korosen–that creature. After all, no one's been close to killing him. I think you're actually the most successful assassin so far." She flashed him a grin.

Itona snorted derisively. It was reassuring to see him act like his old self. "Cut the crap, Kayano."

"No, I mean it!" Kayano insisted. "You did more damage than an A.I from Norway, and that's saying a lot."

"Still, I lost. It's all or nothing. Nothing matters if I can't win," Itona replied staunchly.

Kayano swallowed. Itona's mentality towards victory was… something else. She actually had a lot she wanted to say, but couldn't. To lessen the awkwardness between them, Kayano plopped down the bag of snacks on Itona's bedside table. "Here, I tried to get the stuff you like. Hope you like it."

"... Thanks."

Their conversation was going nowhere. Kayano dared to ask him about the tentacles, and Itona gave her vague answers in return. Then Itona asked softly, oh-so-softly,

"Are your classmates annoying?"

Kayano was taken aback by the odd question. "Sometimes, but they're good people." Seconds passed. Judging from the way Itona's eyes flitted around the room in unease, Kayano suddenly understood Itona was asking if her classmates were mean. She bit her lip. They–they didn't scare him too much, did they? And it wasn't like Itona, with his tentacles and crazy strength, would be _scared_ of middle schoolers–

Maybe that was exactly why he was scared. That even with his superhuman abilities, a bunch of kids got the better of him.

Yanagisawa's voice suddenly rang through the room, telling them time was up. Rather reluctantly, Kayano stood up.

"Hey, Kayano," Itona spoke unexpectedly.

Kayano turned. She noticed Itona was clawing at his blanket, as if he was itching for something. "Yes?"

Hesitation flitted through his amber eyes, but ultimately his fingers relaxed. "Nothing," he mumbled. "Forgot what I was about to say."

Kayano had a hunch that wasn't the truth, but didn't dwell on it. "Goodbye, and get well soon," she said politely. Itona was still unhealthily pale, but at least a bit of pink had returned to his cheeks.

Their interaction had been unfulfilling, but Kayano hoped Itona would realize there was more to it…

* * *

Itona sighed internally. Kayano made him feel a bit better, but not much. At least she brought him food.

He dug into the bag and took out a Kit-Kat. Just as he was about to tear the packaging open, he caught sight of a "3" on the packet. And instead of the nutrients label, there were tiny words meticulously printed on the package. _Is this a secret message from Kayano?_ Maybe that explained why she was so guarded earlier–she had already written down what she wanted to say.

Itona eventually discovered a Kit-Kat labelled "1". On it were the words " _Firstly, if you agreed to the assassination plan knowing full well you'll endanger our class, I'm disappointed and hurt. And yet, I know it's probably due to the tentacles and Shiro's brainwashing_ –"

Itona stopped. Brainwashing?

"– _so please don't hurt the class again. You may hate them but they don't deserve to get hurt."_

The Kit-Kat labelled "2" said " _About Shiro: I think he's using your mental breakdowns to fuel your bloodlust and control you. This may come off as disturbing because he's like your dad (?), but I don't think it's good if you're too close to him."_

Itona gripped the package so hard he nearly tore it in half. What–what was Kayano going on about?! He was now being _manipulated_ by his guardian? What the _**fuck**_.

" _3: the class is actually not THAT bad. You can get away from Shiro and still learn to be strong. Yes, the tentacles may increase your strength, but_ –"

Itona stopped reading. He furiously tore open the package and chomped down the chocolatey sweetness inside.

How could Kayano say something like that? _Leave_ Shiro? Yes, he fucking knew Shiro was weird and freaky, but Shiro was his only hope! He had to stay for the tentacles; it wasn't an option. Was Kayano losing it? Was _she_ brainwashed by the creature he called his brother?! If there was one thing he knew, it was that he would _never_ join his enemies' class. God–that would be absolutely mortifying.

(Besides, he nearly killed some of them–he couldn't bear to face 3-E.)

Anyways, Kayano was fucking crazy for suggesting that. If Itona was a little meaner, he would've snitched to Shiro, but he knew her bizarre behaviour was " _probably due to the tentacles"._ But he sure as hell respected her a lot less now. Itona scoffed. Geez, maybe Kayano had died and was replaced by a clone.

Without bothering to see if she'd hidden more messages, he gobbled down the Kit-Kats in less than ten minutes. He mindlessly shoved chocolate after chocolate, sweet after sweet into his mouth, hoping it could cover up the bitterness on his tongue.

And yet, as he ate, Itona couldn't ignore the small part of him that incessantly wondered:

_What if Kayano was right? What if he should leave Shiro?_


	11. Charred

After Kayano's immediate worry for Itona dissipated, a fuckton of other emotions swiftly surfaced.

She was scared that Itona would hate her for suggesting him to leave Yanagisawa. She also hoped he wouldn't be a snitch, but she had no way of making sure Itona would stay silent.

In addition, Yanagisawa disgusted and disturbed her. Not only did he risk _her_ life (they were supposed to be allies!), he also risked her classmates' lives. Her beloved classmates. Nagisa, Sugino, Kanzaki, Okuda, Kataoka… they were all in danger because of that fucker.

Plus the way he treated Itona was unacceptable. Just thinking about it made Kayano's blood boil and her tentacles twitch. Yanagisawa clearly didn't care about Itona at all. Not only did he casually shoot him with a tranquilizer gun, he also oh-so-casually isolated him from everyone else. In fact, Kayano was sure she was strategically invited to visit Itona to stop him from going insane. She was there for _science_.

And that was why Kayano had to break the news to Itona even though she knew he might despise her for it. Itona had to know that his guardian didn't care. That he would only suffer in Yanagisawa's lab.

… At this point, Kayano couldn't care less about the agony the tentacles gave her. Now that she was used to it, she was certain she could deal with physical pain. In fact, the only reason she was affiliated with Yanagisawa was to keep an eye on Itona… sure, she couldn't see him much now, but at least she might have a chance.

Besides, she'd seen how he reacted to her. Itona probably thought she was the only person who understood him. Even if he didn't like her, Kayano thought he would still be _devastated_ to learn she abandoned him.

Every time Kayano was in the facility, she wondered where Itona was. Where had Yanagisawa hidden him inside the concrete labyrinth of winding corridors? What sort of freaky chemicals was Yanagsiawa injecting in Itona's body? Just thinking about that made Kayano shudder.

In addition, Kayano surprisingly started to doubt her original motivations. Korosensei was ready to risk his life to save their class even though they were a bunch of immature kids he'd known for two months. Why would he care so much? And if he genuinely cared about them, was he cold-blooded enough to murder Aguri–

 _ **STOP!**_ Her tentacles screeched, cutting her train of thought. Kayano felt her tentacles spring to life again. _**He murdered your sister! There's no way he's good**_ –

Kayano's stomach twisted with unease. _But what if I'm wrong about him the whole time?_ Kayano argued. Cold sweat beaded on her forehead. _It could be a misunderstanding_ –

 _ **You wanted to be a killer**_ , the tentacles told her sternly, _**you can't take it back.**_

Kayano shut her eyes. The burning pain was starting again..

.

.

.

 _Kill him. Kill him._ _**KILL HIM.** _

.

.

.

Almost against her will, her old bloodlust returned with full force.

.

.

.

_**You don't have a choice, Akari.** _

* * *

"Getting attached to people makes you _weak,_ Itona. People come and go; it's only natural."

"..."

A snort. "Did Kayano piss you off when she visited? Always knew that would happen eventually. She's a bitch, that one."

Itona dug his fingertips into his mattress, lips parting to retaliate. However, before he could do so, Shiro stuck a needle up his arm. Chemicals entered his bloodstream and his eyelids fluttered.

Shiro's voice was oddly clear amongst the haze of his mind. "There, there… no one else matters, Itona. You can't have true victory if you share it with others, right?"

Itona was reminded by how Kayano and her ( _their!_ ) classmates could've died due to his last assassination attempt… and that didn't sit well with him at all. But the more he struggled to collect his thoughts, the more muddled up his mind became.

A pause. "Well, if you care so much about others, maybe you don't _deserve_ the strength from the cells," Shiro drawled.

Itona flinched. "I- I have to be strong," he uttered, voice quiet but determined.

"I know," Shiro said gently as he stroked Itona's hair. "I'm your guardian, Itona, so I'll do my best to help you. You need to learn that in order to be strong, sacrifices are needed."

Itona was bewildered. What-what was that freak talking about? But ahh, Itona couldn't… he couldn't think…

Shiro whispered to him the secrets of strength and victory and vision… Itona's head burned again and his tentacles squirmed, itching for release. His doubts slipped away like water from his fingers as Shiro's teachings slithered into his mind…

"Repeat after me: I am strong. I am a killer."

 _"I am strong. I am a killer_ ," he stated in a monotone.

"Remove all obstacles. Achieve victory at all costs."

" _Remove all obstacles. Achieve victory at all costs."_

.

.

.

"Stay with me and you'll receive your personal victory."

.

.

.

_"Yes, Shiro."_

_**"Good boy."** _

* * *

Itona was actually feeling pretty okay.

Sure, he'd struggled for a bit after the _mortifying_ result of his last assassination attempt, but he got over it. He had to leave the past behind.

Shior made more and more modifications to Itona's body and he felt sore and dizzy 24/7. But he knew the pain was worth it. It sharpened his senses and made him whole again. His reaction speed decreased daily and the strength of his tentacles rose exponentially. Whenever Itona pummeled the shit out of a "Korosensei" dummy, he felt like the king of the world.

To make up for the toll on his body, Shiro prescribed Itona more pills and drugs. According to Shiro, they would "speed up his metabolism" and "improve his eyesight" and whatnot. Itona had little knowledge of science, so he didn't ( _couldn't_ ) think much about it. Every time he took the pills, he thought the oversaturated red and blue pills looked so unnatural against the pale skin of his palm.

(Speaking of his skin, at least the scratches he gave himself started to vanish.)

Shiro also surprised Itona by giving Itona back his phone. Due to Itona's good progress, he even allowed him to go out once a fortnight. After uttering a short "thank you", he checked his messages and found out Kayano texted him every day. The last text was from yesterday, a simple " _I hope you're doing alright"._

Kayano still pissed him off, but Itona didn't want to lose his only… acquaintance? A semblance of a friend? She couldn't be all bad, because she cared enough to text him for a few months even if he couldn't reply. So Itona swiftly asked if they could meet up at their usual spot. She agreed.

* * *

"Listen, Kayano, I don't know why you fucking said that during our last meeting. I'm gonna assume the tentacles fucked you up."

Kayano frowned. Itona didn't like the look she was giving him. It was almost… pity. Like she knew a secret that he didn't. Itona _loathed_ pity.

"Just. Promise me you won't bring it up again."

"Why?"

Itona didn't know what to tell her. "It… messes up my brain," he muttered.

"Fair enough."

That was all she said. From her cool, clipped voice, Itona wondered if she was mad at him.

"So, how are you doing?"

Itona winced at his attempt at being cordial. He'd never been good at small talk, but he wanted to make an effort.

Kayano twirled her green hair with a finger. "Fine, I guess? The pain's been less severe for me." A pause. "Do you know we're going to an island for our next assassination attempt?"

"Yeah. Shiro told me. You guys won that, right?"

"Ah." Kayano turned away from him and absentmindedly stared at the plastic bag on her lap. "Of _course_ he knows."

Before Itona could ask what that meant, Kayano took out a cup of pudding from the bag. "Want one?"

Itona could never say no to free food. "Yeah, thanks."

Itona scooped up the soft, pale yellow pudding, and ate it. Sugary sweetness filled his entire mouth; it was almost nauseating. The pudding was sacch–saccha–Itona knew there was a word for it _but he suddenly couldn't recall it,_ what was wrong with his memory _v_

"It's very sweet," he said.

"Yeah. The sugar provides energy for the cells."

While they ate pudding, Itona told Kayano what was going through. He talked about the training, the maintenance and the pills Shiro gave him. Kayano was mostly quiet, but then she asked, "Are you happy there?"

"Probably happier than being in your class," he answered ratherly snidely. He felt bad, so he said, "How about you?"

"It's alright. Would be way better if I could see you there." A fond smile quirked on Kayano's lips.

Itona was surprised. "Huh? Why?"

"You're a pretty funny and honest guy. I like being around you." Kayano grinned at him.

Itona had no idea how to reply to that. "Um, thanks. I like being around you too. You're nice, plus you can be pretty savage."

Kayano's eyebrows jerked. "I'm _savage_?" she said incredulously.

Itona had to smile at her reaction. "You roast Shiro all the time, and you seem so determined. Like, you will tear down everything and _anything_ in your path. I think that's cool. You have that vision."

Kayano nudged him in the ribs. "Heh, guess I'm gonna 'tear you down' as well," she teased him.

Itona snorted. "Bring it on, Kayano! Prepare to meet your demise."

Kayano giggled. "Hey, why are you so dramatic? First you kept on saying you had to be strong, then you had the brother gimmick, and now you're declaring me as your mortal enemy!"

"Bold of you to call me dramatic when you literally change your hair and demeanor at school. And I like being dramatic. Being dramatic is cool."

Kayano playfully wagged her pudding spoon in front of his face. "Good gracious, you're such a chuunibyou," she teased him.

* * *

_**Kill. Kill. KILL.** _

The pain attacked him over and over again. He jerked.

" _Focus on your bloodlust, Itona."_

"Ho–"

" _Focus on your anger. Your pain. Your lust for revenge."_

"..."

Itona thrashed against his restraints, body floundering and flailing. Spit and snot dripped from his face as he screamed and hollered. His head smacked against the metal helmet it was trapped in.

"Just let it all out," Shiro said idly. "Convert your fury into strength."

Itona's screams echoed in the windowless concrete room. Warm blood spilled from his cold lips. " _I-I'm s-strong,"_ he wailed. " _I'm strong! I'M STRONG!_ _**I'M STRONG I'M STRONG**_ –"

* * *

"The truth is," Kayano said, "I'm worried for you."

"Oh."

"Your skin is pale–"

"Lack of sunlight."

"–your lips are almost _grey_ –"

"After-effects of drugs."

"–and honestly, you look exhausted."

"I've been training a lot," Itona replied shortly.

Silence.

"You seem awfully concerned about me," he shot out. "Shouldn't you be worried about your own tentacles?"

"I-I _am_ worried about myself! It's just seeing you like this makes me even more worried for you!"

"Don't worry about me!" he burst out hotly. "I'm fine, I'm happy, _I'm safe_. Really."

Kayano did not look convinced. The wretched look in her eyes suddenly made Itona want to cry (and he never cried). He pressed his lips into a thin, hard line.

"You're getting soft, Kayano," he remarked softly.

* * *

"You're not allowed to go out," Shiro ordered through the intercom. "It's negatively influencing your growth. It's best we spend more time on maintenance."

Itona was disappointed. _What would Kayano feel_ –

As if he'd read Itona's mind, Shiro coolly stated, "Don't be distracted by the outside world–none of that matters. Focus on your tentacles."

When Itona gave no reply, Shiro crouched and sternly looked at Itona in the eye.

"I told you sacrifices are necessary for victory. If you're so easily swayed from your goal, how can you call yourself strong?"

Shiro's words triggered Itona. He clenched his fists and seethed, "I want to be strong. I'll–I'll continue to work towards my victory."

"No matter the cost?"

"No matter the cost."

* * *

Kayano only saw Itona two times during the summer.

Technically, she saw him a couple more times at the facility, but during those times, there was always a wall of reinforced glass between them.

Kayano occasionally shared rooms with Itona, but she couldn't communicate with him. She wasn't even sure if Itona was conscious enough to communicate. All she could hear were feral screams and bangs. Every noise he made, no matter how small it was, stabbed Kayano with guilt. She knew she was currently powerless against Yanagisawa's influence, but she couldn't help but think how she could've changed Itona's life.

If he joined the class, at least he didn't have to spend all of his days in the facility. If only she'd hinted to Korosensei that Itona was manipulated by Shiro… Maybe Korosensei and Karasuma and the government could've done something in the name of stopping child abuse. And Kayano could've tried harder to persuade Itona. She admitted her first attempt with the snack packaging was rather drastic, but she could've talked to him afterwards. Back then, she was anxious about Itona's fragile mental state and didn't want to aggravate him further. Now, she wished she had done it more delicately. Maybe they could escape from the lab and maintain the tentacles themselves… but that was just a pipe dream.

Kayano was honestly torn. If she spoke to Korosensei about Itona, her grand revenge scheme would be exposed. But if she remained silent, she was essentially helping Yanagisawa _abuse_ Itona _. Was it worth it? Should she prioritize her revenge or Itona's wellbeing?_

Kayano actually almost told Korosensei, but then she was once again reminded he _murdered_ her sister. Korosensei wasn't a fucking saint, contrary to her class' popular opinion of him. Kayano hadn't heard Korosensei mention Itona or Shiro at all. In fact, it seemed like her entire class and teachers didn't care about Itona. To them, he was just another troublesome assassin, not a troubled child. And Kayano thought even if she told them about Itona, they probably wouldn't care and couldn't do much.

And she knew Itona was highly unstable. Even if she removed him from Yanagisawa's sphere of influence, Kayano didn't think he could stay sane for long.

A bit reluctantly, Kayano resigned to keeping an eye on Itona for the time being. She was being smart, right? She would wait for the right opportunity.

Unfortunately, when the opportunity eventually presented itself, Itona was already too far gone.


	12. Rain

_Third time's a charm, right?_

Itona was ready. He was in prime condition–his strength had peaked and his mind was filled with nothing but bloodlust. Distantly, he knew his head was hurting, but all that faded in comparison to the sweet, sweet _victory_ in front of him. His target was trapped and he had those blades attached to his stronger-than-ever tentacles. And nothing and no one could stop him.

Shiro's plan had worked perfectly (again.) Now he just needed to play his part without fucking it all up.

He couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything except his yellow target. Itona's tentacles sliced through the air and towards his cornered, vulnerable target-

It felt good.

The fight was a bit one-sided, but Itona didn't care anymore if he could win.

He fucking **deserved** to win after all of the work he put in.

He could practically taste his victory.

His heart throbbed, pumping hot angry blood to every part of his body. Spikes of pain attacked his brain, no doubt from the tentacles, but Itona ignored them steadfastly.

" _It's my win, brother."_

His mind was surprisingly clear, different from the last two times when his tentacles incessantly hissed to him. Because now, he was one with his tentacles.

… But like the last two times, something unexpected happened.

Itona's eyes widened as blinding light shone from the target. He furiously attacked his target but that didn't change anything. A force slammed into him and he choked, barely able to breathe–he stared helplessly as his blades shattered into millions of pieces like glass–

And then he fell.

He fell, he fell, he fell, the wind cool against his burning skin.

For a few seconds, Itona genuinely couldn't believe it. He didn't lose, of course he didn't, he was in peak condition, that was just a minor setback–his own pride could _not_ bear the thought of losing again–

Until his target caught him with his tentacles.

And somehow that was fucking worse than falling to his death- his target was showing him _mercy._ He was carrying him like a _child._ To that despicable creature, Itona was a problem child that needed to be protected. He was being patronized. And in that instant, Itona instinctively knew the fight was over even if he didn't want to believe it. His strength slipped from him like water from his fingers.

_Why... can't I win?_

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. Itona was so exhausted, both physically and emotionally, that he forgot to be angry for a moment.

…

_I should've become stronger._

…

Distantly, while carried by his target's tentacles, he heard his target and Shiro talk...

.

.

.

(He wondered where Kayano was.)

.

.

.

Fantastic. So he'd lost. Again.

 _ **(Again and again and again and again**_ – _ **)**_

He was a failure. He was weak, pathetic, and a fucking _loser_ –

A spark of pain ignited in his brain. Itona tried to ignore it. But then–

The tentacles roared to life.

Itona collapsed on his knees, lips torn open in a scream. He blindly shoved his hands in his hair. The tentacles were violently splitting his skull apart. Everything hurt and it hurt _and it hurt_ so much–

" _ **MY HEAD HURTS!"**_ he screeched with wild abandon. " _ **MY**_ – _ **MY BRAIN'S GONNA TEAR OPEN!"**_

Fucking hell–this pain was worse than anything he'd experienced is far. A-and to top it all off, he fucking lost. Itona couldn't move or breathe or think. He didn't know what was happening–he didn't know why his tentacles were going batshit crazy–

–But it would be alright. Shiro's drugs had always helped him. He would go back to the lab, pain would eventually fade away and he would be strong again.

But then he heard Shiro say,

" _ **This is goodbye, Itona. You're on your own now."**_

.

.

.

For one second, Itona's world was completely silent. Then he exploded.

* * *

Kayano's mind was racing. Holy fucking shit, Itona had truly lost it, and Yanagisawa had just abandoned him.

Itona had lashed out and nearly struck her and her friends. Kayano, although worried sick for him, knew it was too dangerous to approach him. She hurriedly attempted to call him, but as expected, there was no answer.

Korosensei vowed to find him after he abruptly disappeared. There wasn't much the class could do except to wait and theorise what had happened to Itona. Kayano felt her tentacles twitch nervously.

And then the attacks rolled in.

Kayano's eyes were glued to her phone screen–different mobile phone stores were attacked by an unknown person. Glass windows were smashed and phones were destroyed. Something popped into her mind: Itona once said he knew how to fix phones–was that related to why he was destroying phone stores?

Kayano knew what to do. She went to Fuwa, who was investigating the mystery with Ritsu. Without being too obvious, Kayano suggested that Itona might be related to mobile phone companies because he took his rage out on them. Fuwa liked her idea and had Ritsu hunt the internet for more information. Meanwhile, the class had managed to track down Itona's location by following his trail of destruction.

But before Itona and Korosensei could actually have a decent conversation, Shiro appeared and literally _abducted_ Itona. Shiro trapped Itona in a net and dragged him away with a car as if he was a fucking corpse and not an actual human being.

Kayano waited for her tentacles to rage at Shiro's horrific actions and braced herself for the bloodlust that was about to come–

But it never came.

Instead rose a tsunami of fear–unadulterated fear and concern for Itona.

Kayano's breathing quickened as she dashed after the car. Yes, she was afraid, but she wasn't afraid of that white bastard–she was afraid for Itona.

The class began to attack Shiro with swift kicks and punches. Kayano wished she could join them, but she had more important things to do. Her current priority wasn't revenge, and it wasn't keeping her identity a secret. It was Itona.

Kayano blindly ran towards the net Itona was tangled in. The poor boy was shivering and shaking, and his eyes were clenched shut in pain. She instinctively reached out a hand towards him–

"Itona, please hold on for a little longer!" Isogai called out. "We'll try to cut the net now."

"Kayano-san, stay back," a new voice ordered. It was Kataoka. Kayano's hand retracted quickly. Right, she was still a "weak" and "vulnerable" student. "It's still dangerous to be around him," Kataoka continued.

Something cold and wet plopped on Kayano's skin. She tilted her head to see rain pouring down from the heavens. _Perfect timing._ Kayano's heartbeat quickened and she turned back to Itona.

"Oh crap, the water's hurting him!"

Isogai and Kataoka frantically took off their jackets to shield Itona, which helped a little. With Kayano and Kataoka holding up the jackets, Isogai bent down and held up a pair of scissors. Upon seeing the sharp object, Itona writhed and frenziedly scooted away from Isogai.

"Please stay still," Isogai pleaded. "We're just trying to cut the net."

Considering Itona didn't trust Isogai (and the rest of the class), Kayano timidly added, "D-don't worry, we won't hurt you."

That seemed to calm Itona a little, but not much. Isogai managed to cut a hole in the net, but Itona was still struggling and a tentacle broke free of the net. Alarmed, the students leapt away.

"The more we cut the net, the more easily he'll be able to attack us!" Kataoka wheezed.

"Yeah, but if we don't do that, he'll be in greater pain and will probably lash out even more!" Kayano rapidly retorted.

Kataoka shot her a look, probably surprised by her reaction, but Isogai quickly distracted her. "Alright guys, we need to calm him down ASAP. We should call Hara over."

Kayano swallowed. Hara was warm and motherly and she could see why Isogai wanted her to comfort Itona. However, would Itona be too mentally unstable to listen? Kayano knew firsthand how much agony he was in.

Hara swooped in and crouched next to Itona. "Itona-kun, it's going to be okay," she began in a soothing tone. "We're all helping you right now and we won't let that Shiro guy close, alright? Even Korosensei is doing his best to–"

"Hara-san!" Kayano screeched. Isogai yanked Hara out of the way before Itona's tentacle could hit her. Hara's words seemed to have backfired because Itona was seething, with teeth bared and drool dripping out of his mouth. He screamed a few unintelligible words, but from his harsh tone, they knew those were insults and curses.

A hot flash of anger ran through Kayano upon seeing Itona's reaction to the kindly Hara, but she knew Itona wasn't in his right mind. Rain continued to mercilessly pelt on Itona and he was still convulsing. Kayano's heart broke for him and she _knew_ she had to do something even if it made her look suspicious.

Ignoring her classmates' worried looks, Kayano knelt down in front of Itona. From the way he'd lashed out at Hara earlier, Kayano theorized that he thought Hara was patronizing him because she mentioned how his "enemies" were helping him. And Itona, prideful Itona who was obsessed with victory, could _not_ allow that.

"Umm, Itona-kun?" Kayano began gingerly. At the sound of her voice, Itona's deranged amber eyes darted towards Kayano.

Kayano chose her words carefully. "I don't think we truly understand what you're feeling right now."

That was a lie. She and Itona both knew they were the only ones who understood each other's suffering. She wanted to tell him that he wasn't alone, that even with all of this shit going down, even with his guardian abandoning him, he still had _her._ Of course Kayano knew she couldn't magically remove his pain, but maybe her presence would make him feel better. In spite of her classmates' quiet protests, Kayano inched closer to Itona. He seemed to have stopped breathing as he waited for her next sentence.

"I still don't know why you became like this, but in the end, we're not so different after all," Kayano said softly. She hoped Itona caught her reference. "We're all pawns of that white bastard. We've all been hurt and manipulated, although not to the degree you had been. We're furious at Shiro too, and just like you, we want revenge."

Itona had stopped jerking like a fish out of water, and instead started to involuntarily shiver and whimper. His eyes were glued to Kayano like a moth to a bright flame.

Kayano stretched out a trembling hand to lift the net, giving Itona a bit more space. "Maybe you still hate us, and that's okay. What matters is that now, we're a united force against Shiro. You-you don't have to fight alone anymore. So please, _please,_ " she implored, staring into his eyes, "let yourself be helped."

Itona's hands were desperately clawing at the net, but after Kayano's words, his movements became sloppier. His tentacles stopped thrashing, and he slumped, seemingly in defeat. His eyes fluttered shut.

Nothing could be heard except for the pattering of the rain.

Kayano dimly regarded her classmates grasped the opportunity to cut more of the net. Somebody flung a jacket on top of him to keep the rain away. Kayano was numb, numb to the chilly rain, numb to her classmates' frantic exchanges, numb to her bloodlust, numb to everything except–

Unexpectedly, a cold and damp hand touched hers.

* * *

Itona was freezing.

The rain and the net made his tentacles flinch, and to make matters worse, he was surrounded by his enemies from all sides, and they were _helping_ him. After he'd failed, after he was abandoned, after he lost everything. They were rubbing salt into the wound.

 _ **WHY?!**_ He screeched internally, too far gone to even speak. _**WHY DON'T YOU HATE ME?!**_

He didn't understand–

Why they still cared after he'd nearly fucking killed their class

why they still cared even though they were putting themselves in danger

why they still cared when _they were under no obligation to do so._

_**(And those under obligation to do so never cared at all.)** _

Fuck! Maybe Itona didn't want to understand! It was too frustrating. He writhed and squirmed and screamed, doing nothing to stop the tentacles from eating away his brain.

" _Itona-kun, it's going to be okay_ –"

_**Fuck this!** _

" _We're all…. helping you…_

_**Fuck THAT!** _

Involuntarily, his tentacle flailed about and nearly smacked his classmate. For a moment, Itona felt guilty, but the guilt was swept away by an overwhelming tsunami of sheer agony.

Dammit… everyone, even his target, his so-called "brother", was fighting tooth and nail for him.

… Itona was exhausted.

Fighting was exhausting.

And yet, Itona knew he couldn't give up–he couldn't lose to these little brats- he couldn't let them help him because it would mean they were _**stronger**_ than him–

.

.

.

A hazy green blob.

.

.

.

" _Umm, Itona-kun?"_

 _ **Ah**_ **.** Kayano.

He struggled to keep his eyes on her… the pain was distracting him...

.

.

.

"– _in the end, we're not so different after all."_

.

.

.

Huh. That was right… Even with their different pasts, Kayano had been with him in the lab. They had suffered together.

Out of all people, maybe Kayano understood him the most, surprisingly enough.

.

.

.

" _We're all pawns of that white bastard. We've all been hurt and manipulated."_

Itona remembered his conversation with Kayano back from so long ago, when she tried to persuade him to leave Shiro's lab… back then, Itona thought that was complete bullshit, but right now, she was _**fucking right.**_

.

.

.

Itona liked to imagine she genuinely cared about him...

.

.

.

" _So please, please_ –

– _ **let yourself be helped."**_

.

.

.

Itona was cold. So very cold.

He didn't want to care about anything anymore. He _couldn't._

(Dammit, he knew was giving up, but he literally had no energy to carry on.)

He drifted in and out of consciousness… he could still see the green blob. Ah. Kayano was still there. He closed his eyes.

Amidst the pain, he could feel something frigid plop down on his clammy skin. It happened again and again, again and again, and he shakily exhaled. The rain was draining strength from his bones.

_Cold…_

He didn't like the cold. It made him weak.

.

.

.

(No, it didn't make him weak. It made him sad.)

.

.

.

His damp fingers futilely scratched the ground, searching for–he didn't know what he was searching for. He couldn't think anymore. He just wanted the cold to _stop._

He found something small and warm–a hand. Its presence was comforting in the rain. Somehow, he chose to grab that hand. And somehow, that hand didn't let go.

* * *

Kayano looked at Itona's pale hand, and squeezed it gently.

"Shiro can't bother you now," Kayano murmured, half to herself, half to Itona. "Let's start a new life with Korosensei."


	13. Dawn

Itona felt like shit.

He'd just lost his third match against Korosensei (Itona was tired of the "brother" thing), plus his tentacles, the source of his "strength", had just been removed. Fucking hell, how was he supposed to win now?

It didn't help that the class' biggest idiots had decided to "take care of him" (which actually meant: forcing him to swallow shitty ramen, quoting English revenge novels to him, throwing him out of a speeding motorbike, etc etc).

… Okay, if Itona was to be honest, fooling around was a refreshing change compared to being cooped up in that freak scientist's lab. And for once, while people were mean to him, it was in a way that Itona knew they were genuinely trying to make him feel better. Terasaka and his friends probably still felt odd around him _considering he nearly murdered their classmates with that pool explosion_ , but yet they didn't hide it with artificial, saccharine smiles. They were painfully blunt, just like him, and Itona appreciated their jeers and sarcastic remarks. Because, at least, his peers were honest and showed their hearts on their sleeves. (They wouldn't manipulate him like the others did.)

Terasaka was still as dense as a brick, but his stupidity was kind of amusing. He was such an easy person to mock and tease. Strangely enough, even though Terasaka reminded him of his old bullies, Itona didn't mind spending time with him. Maybe it was because Terasaka had also been used as a disposable pawn by Shiro, and so he understood what Terasaka had felt–anger, humiliation, and betrayal. Terasaka wasn't an enemy; he was a comrade. An irksome, moronic comrade.

… But life wasn't all that terrible. Itona had blacked out after he (to his mild embarrassment) held Kayano's hand, and woke up with his classmates and his not-brother around him. They were surprisingly forgiving and kind to him… which was a _little_ suspicious, hence he stuck close to the Terasaka gang who wouldn't hesitate to kick his ass.

And Kayano.

The class had noticed him holding Kayano's hand and was curious about it. Itona wasn't a good actor, but he had to try for Kayano's sake.

"It's because she doesn't have a chest," Itona said bluntly.

Kayano squealed. Itona internally winced at her high pitched voice. "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M NOT FOREVER ZERO!" she screeched while pointing a finger at him. Another girl held Kayano back as her tiny arms flailed dramatically.

"But what does holding her hand have to do with Kayano's lack of chest?" a boy with orange hair asked, arms crossed.

"SHUT UP MAEHARA!" Kayano shrieked like a banshee and futilely attempted to smack Maehara. Itona cringed. This Kayano was starkly different from the one he knew…

"I don't like boobs," Itona said with a completely straight face. Everybody gasped. Some kid grabbed his bald head and literally _wailed_ in horror. "I guess it's an aftereffect of the tentacles," Itona continued.

"Ehhh, so that's kind of how Kaede-chan doesn't like big breasts?" a girl nudged Kayano and said.

Internally, Itona winced. The girl had no idea how close to the truth that was.

Thankfully, the class seemed to accept his completely bullshit excuse (probably because he was already weird enough). Now that he thought about it, his mind was clearer too. The tentacles were gone and so were their incessant whispers. His entire head still felt sore, but the spiking pain had disappeared. He could actually think. _Huh._

"Now, Itona-kun," Korosensei said cheerfully, "shall I help you find a place to stay for the night?"

Initially, Itona was wary of Korosensei, but after seeing him risking his life for a student who had brought nothing but trouble for him, he started to trust him. Just a little bit.

"Just take me to a place that doesn't have shitty ramen."

"Hey, kid!" Muramatsu growled. "If you didn't like my ramen then why did you eat three whole bowls of it?!"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Itona replied flippantly.

Hazama chuckled while Muramatsu cursed loudly. "I like this one," Hazama sniggered.

Korosensei grinned. "Don't worry Itona-kun, I'll help you get settled in. It's my job to take care of you." Subconsciously, Itona snuck a glance at Kayano. Kayano didn't speak but he swore he saw her nod slightly.

Now with a bit of silent advice from Kayano, Itona looked up at Korosensei. "Okay."

* * *

Kayano marched into Shiro's lab with a menacing glare. Researchers hurried past her but paid her no heed. Kayano clicked her tongue in frustration, then stepped in front of a researcher, who ignored her.

"Excuse me, I would like to see Shiro-san," she stated clearly.

"He's not available now–"

Kayano narrowed her eyes. "I said, _I want to see Yanagisawa-san_ ," she seethed.

Kayano didn't like to recall the conversation she had with Yanagisawa. Basically, she condemned Yanagisawa for taking advantage of Itona then abandoning him, but of course he didn't give a single fuck about that. She then asked to collect Itona's belongings, and he let her. Finally, she cut all ties with Yanagisawa.

 _Sure_ , he'd given her the tentacles and strengthened them and blah blah blah, but now that Itona was safe, Kayano had no reason to stay. Yanagisawa was a child abuser, a wife beater, and an immoral "scientist". Kayano had grudgingly remained in the facility to keep an eye on Itona, but there was no need for that now.

Led by a researcher, Kayano hurried inside Itona's room. Rummaging through his stuff felt like an invasion of his privacy, but she knew it had to be done.

First she took his clothes: his shirts, his cargo pants, his mufflers, and his jacket. Stashed among his shirts were a bit of cash–probably his pocket money. Then, she found the manga books Itona had haphazardly stuffed in a corner. A flash of white caught her eye and Kayano discovered it was the white tiger keychain she'd gifted him. It was dangling on a backpack. A bittersweet smile quirked on her lips.

" _ **Goodbye, Yanagisawa-san."**_

Without sparing Yanagisawa a second glance and without any regrets, Kayano finally left the damned facility for once and for all.


	14. Mild

"Did anyone see you coming here?"

"No. I think Korosensei's tutoring Hara right now."

"Good."

Itona stepped into Kayano's apartment. The delicious smell of spaghetti greeted him and his stomach rumbled. Itona _seriously_ could never resist a free meal.

"Thanks for inviting me to dinner."

Kayano, who was wearing a pink apron that said "#1 Pudding Lover", dismissively waved a hand. "It's the least I can do after all of… that. I still feel bad I didn't help you much in the lab…"

"You _couldn't_ help me," Itona corrected her. "And you tried to persuade me to leave, I just didn't listen."

Kayano grinned at him. "Well, the only thing that matters is that you're safe now."

Itona shot her a look. He hadn't heard of Kayano leaving Shiro's lab. "Are _you_ safe though?"

Kayano's expression sobered up. "Uh. We're gonna discuss that later," she said shortly. "Let's have dinner first?"

Itona was puzzled and a little apprehensive, but he didn't show it. He took his shoes off and had a good look at Kayano's home while Kayano entered the kitchen. It was tiny, but cosy. There was a plaid couch (that looked second-handed) and a coffee table in the living room. On top of the couch were… numerous gigantic pudding plushies. Itona didn't even _know_ where Kayano got those. Photos of Kayano and her friends lined the shelves. (Curiously enough, Itona couldn't find any photos of her family, but he didn't inquire.)

Kayano emerged from the kitchen. She took out two plates of creamy spaghetti with little piles of red cod roe on top of them. "I made mentaiko pasta. It's a little spicy, but I'm sure you can handle it."

"Sounds tasty," Itona remarked. Kayano then brought out glasses of iced tea for them, and sat down.

"How's your first two weeks of school? Sorry that I can't really talk to you in class."

Itona gave a shrug. "It was normal. Well, as normal as it can be. Korosensei continues to poke his nose into my business, Terasaka continues to be fucking stupid. My body's doing alright, if you're asking. Just some occasional phantom pains."

A relieved smile appeared on Kayano's face. "That's great to hear! Glad to know that you're adapting well!"

Itona took a sip of the iced tea Kayano had bought out. (It wasn't sweet; it was actually mildly bitter, which Itona liked.) "It's not as bad as I thought it would be," he admitted. "Your class–I mean, our class is too forgiving and nice."

Kayano giggled and looked down at her plate. "Yup, I think that's the way we are… that's what Korosensei taught us–that everyone deserves a second chance."

There was silence as they both enjoyed the meal. The hardness of the spaghetti was suitable and the cream sauce didn't feel too watery or oily. In addition, the spicy cod role added a dash of Japanese flavour to the otherwise Western dish. "You're a decent cook," Itona told her. He felt like she needed to know.

"Thanks! It's my first time making this."

"Of course, in my opinion, Muramatsu is still the best cook when he's not making his shitty ramen." A pause, then he nonchalantly added, "Don't tell him that."

"Ohh, that's right!" Kayano waggled her fork, visibly excited. "You're staying at Muramatsu's place, right?"

"Yeah. His parents adore me and I don't know why. Even though they don't know about my past, they're still pretty welcoming." To Itona, it was extraordinary how they could be so concerned for a random child. (It also felt nice to have a place to go back to.)

"They're also making sure I eat enough. Back at the facility…" Itona stopped speaking for a moment as he thought about it, "Shiro made me eat a lot of supplements and pills to provide energy for the tentacles. Now I can eat actual food, which is pretty nice. Also, Muramatsu's dad doesn't mind me insulting his ramen but hates it when Muramatsu does the same." Itona snorted at the amusing memory. "That's why Muramatsu's pissed at me."

"His parents seem like nice people," Kayano commented. "One time, I went to his family's ramen restaurant with Kanzaki-san, and Yoshida-kun was there. Once Yoshida-kun told us we were Muramatsu-kun's classmates, his dad immediately gave us a discount."

Itona scoffed. "Exactly, he's far too generous. I don't want to be a pessimist but their little shop will go out of business if a chain restaurant opens nearby."

Itona couldn't be helped but reminded of what happened to his father's company… the last thing he wanted was for Muramatsu's family to go through the same ordeal. He could only try to convince Muramatsu's dad to tweak the recipe.

Kayano remained silent, but she was gazing at him with a thoughtful expression on her face. She was probably recalling his own unhappy experience.

"That being said, I know Muramatsu's learning management from Korosensei, so I have faith he can run a successful business when he takes over the restaurant."

"That's nice…" Kayano murmured almost absent-mindedly.

Itona twirled the spaghetti with his fork. "Now that we've finished talking about me, can you tell me why I'm here? Sorry if I sound blunt, I don't want to beat around the bush," he stated calmly.

Kayano nervously bit her lip, and she self-consciously averted her eyes. "No, it's fine. I just… I just want to tell you that after I'd seen you suffer so much, I had my tentacles removed too."

Itona stopped chewing and his mood instantly brightened. So he'd been worried about nothing! Now, Kayano was free from those damned tentacles. "That's good to know. The tentacles really are a pain in the ass. How did you remove them?"

Kayano shifted uneasily in her chair. "Umm… I actually don't want to talk about it," she whispered.

"That's valid." Itona fully understood the agony (both physical and mental) and trauma that came with the tentacles. He wouldn't force Kayano to relieve her painful memories.

"By the way…" Kayano sheepishly began, "do me a favour, will you?"

Itona looked at her with a careful eye. "Yes?"

" _Please_ don't tell the rest of the class and Korosensei about my tentacles," Kayano pleaded. Itona jolted, slightly surprised. Kayano, with her big amber eyes, suddenly looked so innocent and vulnerable. Kayano glimpsed his expression and sighed. "I mean… I'm planning to tell them, but when I'm ready. It's just–it's just difficult to say it now. So can you please keep my involvement with Shiro and the tentacles a secret for now?"

For one second, Itona didn't know how to reply. Secrets were annoying and keeping them usually ended in disaster. Nevertheless, he trusted and liked Kayano because she was brave, smart, and unbelievably kind. She'd selflessly done so much to help him; it was now his turn.

"Alright, I'll keep it a secret for now," Itona promised. "But you should… try to resolve it as soon as possible. Ripping the bandaid off would be painful, but it has to be done."

Kayano's anxious and fearful expression melted away and was replaced by a thankful smile. "Thank you, Itona. It means a lot to me."

Itona shrugged again. "Not a problem," he replied nonchalantly. "I'll support you no matter what happens. Just like you did for me."

"Aww, thank you," Kayano gushed out. She beamed at Itona and he found himself smiling in return.

Kayano had always seemed aloof and business-like in the lab, but that was probably due to being around Shiro and the researchers. At school, she put on the facade of a sweet and bubbly girl, which could be overbearing at times. Apparently the Kayano at school _despised_ her nonexistent chest and noisily complained about it. Ah, well. Kayano also seemed a little too eager and a little too cheerful. Itona used to believe that was odd until he recently learned she had removed her tentacles. It was perfectly normal for her to be happier without the tentacles.

So Itona didn't think much about her behaviour.

* * *

Once Itona had left, Kayano slowly moved the dirty dishes to the sink. She turned on the tap and let cold water run down her hands, but the water couldn't wash away her guilt.

The back of her neck throbbed and Kayano's hands shook so badly, she nearly dropped a plate. Fuck, Yanagisawa's maintenace really did wonders.

( _Maybe he hadn't been lying, but she definitely had been_ – _)_

Kayano hated herself for doing such a thing to her class and Itona… her tentacles hissed " _ **good job"**_ and " _ **you did the right thing"**_.

… Dammit, this was her fault for letting the tentacles have the upper hand.

Fuck. She knew she couldn't remove the tentacles even if she wanted to. She wished she had a choice, but the tentacle cells were controlling her every move now.

 _Kill him. Kill_ _ **it. Kill it kill it KILL IT**_ –


	15. Embers

Akari was tired of pretending.

She laid awake at night, tossing and turning in her bed. Burning pain blossomed from the nape of her neck, but that wasn't the only thing keeping her up.

_Who was she?_

Technically she knew who she was–she was Yukimura Akari, sister of Yukimura Aguri. But she was also Haruna Mase, a famous child actress. Additionally, she was known as Kayano Kaede, a fun-loving, cheerful girl to her classmates and her teachers. To further complicate matters, she showed a different side of herself to Itona and Yanagisawa–she had Akari's determination, Kayano's kindness, and a fierceness that emerged from nowhere.

_Who_ _**was** _ _she?_

Maybe it didn't matter. All versions of her were deceitful, manipulative, and exceedingly selfish. Itona, who had been betrayed and left behind multiple times, thought he had finally found someone he could trust. It turned out that someone was lying from the very beginning. Akari clenched her fist. She didn't want to reopen healing scars.

Akari shoved her hands into her unnatural green hair and winced at the garish colour. It reminded her of how she had erased her beloved sister's black hair.

… Speaking of Aguri, she was the only one who actually knew Akari as Akari, not Kayano (Yanagisawa did _not_ count). The rest of her family didn't care about her, and she didn't have many friends before becoming Kayano.

Kayano was so likeable and nice because she was literally created to be an unassuming character. Akari had carefully constructed Kayano's personality and even took advantage of Nagisa's bloodlust (which was low for her) to conceal her identity. And everyone _adored_ this fake Kayano.

Kayano was always eager to help. Kayano was one of Okuda's first friends. Kayano was the one Kanzaki revealed her secret to. Kayano gave Nagisa his signature pigtails. Kayano loved pudding more than anything and enjoyed baking sweets with her friends. Kayano had a flat chest and was envious of anyone with cleavage. Kayano had a short stature and was physically weak. Kayano had to be protected by everyone. Everyone liked Kayano, even the new kid Itona. Kayano had loving friends and supportive teachers and an amazing class. Kayano was kind, Kayano was cute, Kayano was good. Kayano this and Kayano that–

But Kayano didn't really exist.

And none of those wonderful traits and things belonged to Akari.

And she certainly wouldn't deserve any affection once her identity and motivations were revealed.

Everyone would feel betrayed and manipulated, and Akari couldn't do anything about it. She had no excuse.

All her months in 3-E had just been a dream, because her relationships were based on… _nothing_. When her class knew she had been pretending for an entire year, they would surely break all ties with her. And Akari wouldn't blame them.

Yet… even as she said that, she felt her heart sink to the pit of her stomach. She _expected_ to lose everyone, but she desperately wanted to cling onto her precious friendships. For once in her life, due to the lovely people she had befriended, Akari was happy, despite her sister's death and her hellish pain. And she didn't want to lose her happiness after she had spent so much time craving it.

Akari felt strongly envious of Kayano. Her life was so simple–well, as simple it could be when she was a student assassin. Kayano didn't have a complex and traumatic past and she wasn't involved in dangerous matters. Wouldn't it be nice to be someone like the fake, too-perfect Kayano? Wouldn't it be nice to be liked for who she really was?

Akari buried her face into her pillow. Sometimes she selfishly wished she had always been the carefree Kayano, and that she had not experienced her intense bitterness and pain, but that would invalidate the joyful memories she shared with her dear sister.

… She hated herself.

She hated herself, all versions of herself, for all the terrible things she had done, and the terrible things she would do.

* * *

Akari made up her mind to tell Korosensei.

Korosensei was the only one who could help her now.

" _ **Asking your sister's murderer for help?"**_ her tentacles scoffed. " _ **What a disgrace. Your past self wouldn't be proud."**_

Yes, maybe past Akari would be appalled by how she was "giving up", but past Akari's judgement was clouded with bloodlust and anguish. Now that she had spent a decent length of time around Korosensei, she started to doubt if her benevolent teacher had been involved with her sister's death. Perhaps she just hadn't heard Korosensei's side of the story–

_**NO! HE KILLED AGURI! THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT!** _

Akari winced. Fuck, her tentacles were acting up again. Attempting to calm them down was futile as she would just add fuel to the fire.

Korosensei was marking papers alone in the classroom. It was the perfect opportunity. Akari squared her shoulders and strode into the room.

Korosensei looked up, as obnoxiously cheerful as ever. "Kayano-san? Do you have something you need help with?"

Akari opened her mouth–

 _ **YOUCAN'TDOTHATYOUAREAKILLERYOUHAVETOMURDERIT**_ –

Her hand started to shake. Her head was being split apart.

"Um-umm, sensei–"

_**STOPENJOYINGITSCOMPANYKILLITKILLITKILLIT-** _

Akari couldn't speak, but Kayano could.

"Sorry sensei!" Kayano sheepishly scratched her head. "I seem to have forgotten what I wanted to ask."

"Oh, don't worry, Kayano-san." Korosensei's grin was as wide as ever. "I'll be here when you remember your question."

Akari wanted to tell him it wasn't as simple as a question, but the ever-innocent Kayano just waved and left with a too-bright smile.

* * *

To intensify her guilt, Itona kept on visiting Kayano.

It wasn't like Kayano disliked spending time with Itona! It was just that she felt horrible for lying to him multiple times.

To avoid lying to him even more, Kayano would hastily switch the topic every time he asked about her tentacles. It was slightly awkward, but Kayano made it work. One of their favourite things to do was to mercilessly insult Yanagisawa. Kayano was always glad for their roast sessions, because her hatred of Yanagisawa was genuine and she could finally stop acting for a while.

"I never said this before, but his mask is _fucking weird_ ," Itona said as he tossed Japanese rice crackers in his mouth. "And his robes look like a poor imitation of historical clothes. That freak has the WORST fashion sense."

"And what sort of name is _Shiro_?" Kayano mocked Yanagisawa. "He's supposed to be smart and pretentious, but he named himself after a _colour_."

"He's always been shitty at naming stuff," Itona mentioned. "Like, remember the name for the tentacle scheme? ARKE-something?"

Kayano guffawed and nearly spat out the rice crackers she was munching on. "It's AKELOTA," she got out between peals of laughter. "Fucking AKELOTA. It sounds and looks like a failed keysmash. I swear, this miserable excuse of a man doesn't have a single brain cell."

Itona snorted. "Fuck Shiro for making us suffer. Fuck AKELOTA for making us suffer."

"Yup!" Kayano raised a glass of iced tea and clinked it with Itona's glass. "Fuck Shiro! Fuck AKELOTA!"

… And for one moment, Akari could just pretend it was going to be okay. That she and Itona could insult Yanagisawa forever. That she could forever cheer for Itona during the pole toppling match with 3-A. That she could forever laugh with her friends in 3-E. That she was just Kayano Kaede, an ex-tentacles user.

(Pretense, pretense, more pretense.)

The pain from the tentacles intensified every week. Kayano drowned herself with painkillers and sweets as if her pathetic attempts could ease her bloodlust. Too late, too late… during the day, shadows of the past haunted her, and during the night, nightmares plagued her. She could see it oh-so-clearly–Aguri being impaled by Korosensei, Aguri collapsing on the floor, Aguri bleeding to death…

Her sister had been fucking murdered. The only family member who had actually cared about her, who knew and loved her for who she was, was gone in a blink of an eye. And whose fault was that?!

Her heartbreak surfaced.

.

.

.

It hurt. It hurt it hurt it _still_ hurt so much.

_She just wanted to have Aguri back!_

She missed her sister. She missed having lunch with her and laughing at her weird clothes and shopping with her and seeing her gentle smile and–

_**She wanted revenge.** _

No, she didn't want–

_**She wanted to kill Korosensei.** _

But Korosensei was her teacher–

_**She HAD to kill IT.** _

.

.

.

She feebly protested against her tentacles to no avail. Ahhh, she couldn't think, she couldn't feel any love for Koro–no, her _target._ None of it mattered, none of her class fucking mattered anymore because her sister was gone. Forever. All because of her so-called teacher, her sister's life ended abruptly. Aguri still had so much to do–teach more kids, divorce Yanagisawa, live a happy life with the people she loved–but all of that was _g o n e._ It was fucking unfair that this happened to the sweetest and kindest person she had the honor of knowing. Uncontrollable fury ran through her veins, lighting her on fire. She gnashed her teeth together and felt adrenaline course through her body. How dare Korosensei act like an innocent, altruistic educator when he was actually a cold-blooded murderer?!

 _ **Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!**_ Her brain screamed at her. _**You can't delay it anymore!**_

… Yes, she couldn't delay it. There were some things that needed to be done. Justice was needed for Aguri.

(Deep down, she knew she didn't want to kill anyone and she didn't want to destroy the class' bonds–)

_**AKARI YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.** _

The tentacles were right. The old her was right.

.

.

.

She didn't know what was doing. She had vague memories of herself sneaking into the shed behind the campus… " _a trap_ " she whispered to herself… training and strengthening her tentacles… distancing herself from everyone else… putting on the most innocent of all smiles, so she could take her target by surprise–

_For the first time in a long while, Akari felt alive._

She was wrathful, she was bitter, she was determined. Akari felt like who she was when Yanagisawa first asked her to join his tentacles programme. Her purpose all along was going to be fulfilled.

She was a killer.

Nothing less, nothing more.

Soon, everyone would know the truth. Everyone would know Korosensei was a fucking murderer.

Korosensei's reputation would burn with Kayano's.


	16. Hellfire

Today was the day Akari would send Korosensei to hell.

Her plan was perfect. She had studied Korosensei's movement patterns for a year, she knew he was weak against pitfall traps, she knew he'd never suspected her to be Aguri's sister.

She felt bad for dragging Nagisa with her into the shed, but she needed his bloodlust to cover up hers.

 _(Was her "best friend" just a pawn all along_ – _)_

No one saw her tentacles emerge from the nape of her neck. No one turned or gave her, the sweet and cute Kayano Kaede, a second glance.

_Too bad this Kayano never existed._

Then the tentacles flew towards her target and all hell broke loose.

* * *

The sudden explosion from the shed shocked Itona, but that was _nothing_ compared to seeing Kayano's still-intact tentacles.

Itona felt sick as he stared up at Kayano– _if_ she could even be called Kayano. Her green tentacles waved ominously as her cool amber eyes surveyed everyone below her. It was as if the kind, sweet Kayano never existed. He didn't like the cold, cruel way she was looking at them–it was the way a predator looked at its prey.

At first he couldn't believe it. There was _no way_ Kayano would do something so manipulative! There was no way she would fake her identity! But he was forced to accept reality, like how he was forced to accept his parents had abandoned him and forced to accept Shiro had been using him. And now it turned out Kayano was just as horrible. She was a fucking liar.

He felt sick. He felt foolish. He felt betrayed. He clenched his fist. _He needed answers._

"I thought you removed the tentacles," he shot out, surprising everyone. Ahh, that was right, no one knew about them and Shiro. (So Itona was a liar as well, he was just as bad–)

Kayano studied him for a second. "I had to tell you what you wanted to hear," she stated in such an uncaring way it made Itona's stomach clench.

Logically, he _knew_ Kayano was under the tentacles' influence, but that didn't remove the fact that she had been hiding her true intentions and identity for an entire year. And that… it hurt to know.

Itona couldn't stop Kayano. He could barely speak. After declaring her will to kill Korosensei tomorrow, she leapt away and vanished. Everyone was stunned into silence, even the adults.

Itona took a look around. Okuda was crying and hiccuping, Kanzaki was hugging her, while Nagisa and Sugino just looked mystified.

" _Oy, Itona, what the_ _ **heck**_ _did you say just now?!"_

The class spun towards Terasaka. "You knew something about the tentacles?" he snarled, body rigid with hostility. Itona swallowed.

Hazama placed a hand on Itona's shoulder. "Terasaka, calm down. Itona, tell us what you know."

Itona knew he had to rip off the metaphorical bandage now. "Kayano was–maybe _is_ –affiliated with Shiro," he said bluntly. "I knew her back in Shiro's lab before I joined this class."

His classmates gawked at him. The silence was broken by Okuda's quiet sobs.

"I met her in Shiro's facility last spring, around the time when she transferred here. Shiro maintained both of our tentacles."

The adults were all frozen. Then Korosensei softly asked, "And then what happened, Itona-kun?"

Itona wracked his brain for the unpleasant memories. Thinking about the sweet moments he shared with Kayano made him want to puke, but he had to tell the class. They deserved to know.

"We kind of became friends. I think she tried to get me out, but at that time I was brainwashed by Shiro. When Shiro abandoned me and I joined this class, she told me she'd left Shiro. I-I promise I never knew anything about her double identity. I'm just as lost as you are."

Itona gulped and waited for his class' response. Hara and Muramatsu were looking at him with concern, and Terasaka was still scowling.

"You better not be lying," Terasaka growled. "I don't want to lose trust in you."

"You have my word. I swear that's all I know about Kayano."

… It was weird, wasn't it? Itona never really knew 3-E before he joined them, but they were all victims of manipulation. And Itona honestly thought he knew all about Kayano's acting, like how she pretended she didn't know him, and it turned out she was lying to him as well.

It fucking sucked.

"U-umm, should we focus on saving Kayano-san first?" Kanzaki began, instantly attracting everyone's attention. Kanzaki looked unusually determined and stoic. "Those tentacles must be taking a toll on her. I don't want her to lose her mind…"

"Itona, do you have any insights?" Isogai asked.

Itona raised his head. He refused to mope because his friend had betrayed him; he could only move forward. "She told me she had left Shiro's lab. I dunno if that's true, but she did bring me back my stuff in the facility, so we know she went back at least one time. Either way, with or without maintenance, it's still very dangerous."

Itona self-consciously started to fiddle with his bandana. "I recognize that look in her eyes… she's been consumed by bloodlust. The tentacles feed on bloodlust. It won't be long before she completely succumbs to the cells–maybe she already has."

Itona didn't like how nonchalant he sounded, but at the same time, he was glad he could be rational. They couldn't help Kayano if he started to have a breakdown–

 _Wait!_ They were trying to save Kayano?! It seemed like the right thing to do, but at the same time she used all of them–

 _ **URGH!**_ Itona didn't even know what he wanted to do. He suddenly felt a meaty hand on his shoulder–it was Terasaka. Even the dense brick could see how shaken he was.

"Thanks for the information," Kataoka said grimly. After that, the class did more research and discovered Yukimura Akari was a prodigy child actress using the name Haruna Mase. Her appearance and personality were completely different–no wonder not even Mimura, the film geek, could recognize her.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. It felt like Itona had blinked, and it was already time for Kayano's (Yukimura's) ultimate assassination.

He didn't want to see her again, but he knew he had to.

Maybe it was out of morbid curiosity, maybe it was out of his remaining bit of compassion to a fellow tentacle-user, maybe it was the hopefull little boy crying out _give her another chance!_ –

Itona had to see how this mess would end.

* * *

_**KILL. KILL. KILL.** _

The words echoed in Akari's (empty) head. _She was a killer. She would kill Korosensei._ Nothing else mattered.

"Kayano!"

It was Itona. She scoffed and turned to him.

She could barely see him, too distracted by her bloodlust. "Right now, your body should be hurt, but your neck should be cold," Itona began urgently. "You can't fool me, I know _exactly_ how you feel."

Fuck! He may know what she was physically feeling, but he sure as heck didn't understand her anguish!

Itona took a step closer. "You'll lose control to the fever and the pain. Then the tentacles will suck away your life force, and you'll _**die**_." He exhaled, then dared to look straight into her eyes. "Don't do it, Kayano. It's not worth it."

Akari's hand trembled, and fire burst out from her tentacles, enveloping _(suffocating)_ her. She could barely hear the surprised screeches of her peers.

"Shut up!" she spat out. "You shouldn't be meddling in the final battle!" She gritted her teeth. " _ **You don't fucking understand! None of you do!"**_

_**DIE. DIE. DIE.** _

It felt like she was being roasted alive, and she _looved_ it. The heat from the tentacles, her supposed "weakness", now became her polished blade. She tossed her head and laughed. She was _such_ a good student, wasn't she? Wouldn't Korosensei be _proud_?!

.

.

.

_**KILL IT NOW!** _

_**AVENGE AGURI!** _

.

.

.

Her classmates were yelling at her, trying to persuade her to stop, but she _wouldn't_ _ **(couldn't)**_. They were telling her she still had so much to do, telling her this could all be a misunderstanding–

 _ **NO!**_ She had nothing in this miserable world! She never had loving parents, her darling sister was gone, and she'd single-handedly destroyed the only support system she'd ever had. She had no friends, no mentors, no one who trusted her, no one who loved her. She had nothing– _ **nothing**_ at all to lose!

_**BESIDES, THEY WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER!** _

And she would take Korosensei down with her.

She would see Aguri in heaven.

_The perfect ending._

Her head and heart hurt it hurt it hurt _so much_ it melted and stopped hurting. Akari was numb to everything except for the scorching heat and the lovely promise of death. It was amazing, wasn't it?! To be indifferent to something that would normally tear her apart. Akari let out a delighted scream.

" _ **DIE, KOROSENSEI!"**_

She ceaselessly attacked Korosensei, and she cackled when she tore a twitchy tentacle off. A sweet shiver of satisfaction ran down her spine.

" _ **DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!"**_

.

.

.

Korosensei's movements were becoming sloppier and sloppier, and she smirked-

" _ **DIE! DIE! DIE!"**_

.

.

.

 _It_ was finally going to die at her hands, and Kayano couldn't be happier.

.

.

.

But was she really that happy?

" _ **DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE-"**_

 _No,_ she didn't want it to end like this–

She had to kill Korosensei… kill it kill it kill it kill it–

_Kill_ _**me.** _

_**NO! KILL IT!** _

She needed his help–

_**NO THE FUCK SHE DIDN'T.** _

.

.

.

There was only one thing on Akari's mind–that was to kill Korosensei. She stabbed Korosensei and felt her tentacles directly strike his heart. She giggled, elated that she had hit a crucial spot.

And then something around her waist.

And then she couldn't move.

And then an awfully familiar figure in front of her, staring at her with piercing and determined eyes. Akari scowled and spat at the ground.

_Nagisa?!_

A moment later, he took away her breath. Literally.

.

.

.

**He was** _**kissing** _ **her.**

Shiota Nagisa, her fake self's best friend, was kissing her.

It was a forceful and overwhelming kiss, but yet also so _tender_. It was deadly and aggressive and sweet and cautious and cold and warm. It was like Nagisa was crying out,

" _Don't say it, Kayano. Don't say it was all an act."_

One hand was on her head, pulling her–a literal monster–closer. She made muffled sounds of protest and her hands futilely shoved against his chest, and yet he continued to mercilessly kiss her.

Nagisa… he was a naturally skilled assassin… surely he could've used his stun clap or some other devious, unexpected way to knock her unconscious from a distance. But _no._ He'd walked straight into her fiery hell to hold her and _kiss_ her. Nagisa chose the most harmless way to stop her even if it meant risking his life.

_But_ _**WHY?!** _

Nagisa should be hurt–he should hate her and abandon her because of the unforgivable things she'd done. She'd _used_ him and she'd admitted it! He trusted and liked her and now he was wrong about everything!

_So why did he still care?_

_Why did he care enough to "save" her using the safest way he could think of?!_

Nagisa was too kind…

Too naïve…

Yet he was a born assassin… he could easily stop being nice to her…

…

Akari couldn't think anymore. She couldn't comprehend his compassion. She surrendered herself to Nagisa's embrace.

And the instant she felt her bloodlust slip up, she knew she was a goner.

* * *

Kayano was all right.

She didn't die, and Korosensei managed to remove her tentacles.

Itona couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief, but he still had a million questions for her. So after discovering Shiro was in fact Kayano's brother-in-law or something, Itona knew he had to speak up.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself?" Itona asked bluntly. "What happened to you was sad, but do you really expect us to forgive you so easily, Kayano?" His eyes narrowed. "Or is it Yukimura now?"

Kayano (?) had the decency to look down in shame, and she defensively hugged her knees to her chest. "Guys… I know I've done a terrible thing," she began timidly, "so I don't expect everyone to forgive me. I'll understand if you hate me or don't want to see me again. I'm genuinely sorry that I damaged our class' bonds and I'm sorry if I abruptly ended our fun and carefree times in our assassination classroom…"

Kayano then looked up with a small, sad smile on her face. "But I _do_ enjoy being in this class. You guys are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You taught me to be kind, to be open-minded, to be happy, and most importantly," she snuck a glance at Itona, "to love. But it's selfish of me to prattle about how much you guys have helped me when I hurt you all."

"Hey, Kayano."

Along with the rest of the class, Itona turned to look at Nagisa. Nagisa shuffled closer and patted Kayano's shoulder. "You know, when you gave me this hairdo, you helped me be less self-conscious about how long my hair is."

"But…" Kayano feebly interrupted him.

Nagisa grinned at Kayano. "It doesn't matter what your goal was," he said. "What matters is that you made everyone in our class your friend."

Itona wanted to scoff. Nagisa was so simple-minded, so result-oriented. This wasn't going to be okay just because he said he was. And judging from the slightly hesitant looks on some of his classmates' faces, they felt the same.

_Was it all an act?_

Was her kindness and empathy for him all an act? To make him let his guard down? Itona's stomach clenched uncomfortably.

Suddenly he felt so stupid for trusting Kayano. Of _course_ everyone who "supported" him would eventually betray him. Kayano had been his sole emotional support when he was at Shiro's, and the reason he started to like her was because she had offered help when he had most needed it. Was that… was that all an act? Maybe he never deserved that help–he never deserved warmth–

Itona exhaled. He somehow believed that wasn't the case. For once in his life, he was fucking optimistic. Nevertheless, he knew Kayano was _exhausted_ after her battle, and he should give her some space. He could always talk to her later.

But this wasn't over, not in the least. Itona clenched his fist. He needed closure, and he was going to get it as soon as Kayano felt better.


	17. Extinguish

It felt nice to be free of her bloodlust.

Akari sat up straighter in her hospital bed and tugged her clean sheets closer to herself. Karasuma had been kind enough to pay for her hospital fees, saying it was his duty to do so. With support from her teachers and friends, Akari felt her strength return to her. She was a little unused to receiving so much genuine help and love from everyone, but it made her feel extraordinarily fuzzy and happy, as if she'd drunk a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter's day. It filled her up and sent warmth trickling down to the tips of her toes.

Akari picked up a get well card on her bedside table, and fondly read the handwritten messages by her classmates. Kanzaki had given it to her after she came for a visit earlier. Kanzaki was surprisingly understanding of her situation, maybe because she also had to pretend to be someone else. Akari's lips quirked up in a smile. Gosh, she really didn't deserve her friends.

Speaking of her friends, Itona told her he was paying her a visit today, and he didn't disappoint. His face appeared to be as emotionless as ever, but Akari knew all too well that was just a facade. They had barely talked since she revealed her identity, and she knew he was coming over to fix that.

"You look better," he remarked honestly as he set down a cardboard box of cheese pies and a bottle of tea. Akari noted that he'd bought her salty food and the same type of tea she'd always served him.

"I _do_ feel better," Akari replied rather awkwardly just to keep the conversation rolling. "Thanks for the food."

Itona plopped down on a stool next to her bed, and stared straight into her eyes. "I'll be blunt with you, but first of all, what should I call you? Kayano? Yukimura?"

"Either is fine." At that point, Akari almost felt like she could live her entire life being called Kayano Kaede.

"Alright. So, Kayano," he began, "when we were in Shiro's facility, how much of _it_ was an act?"

Akari winced at how easily the question came out of his mouth. Itona wasn't lying when he said he would be painfully blunt. But by now, she could read Itona's body language with relative ease. He was rigid and his muscles were tense, plus his arms were laying stiffly by his sides. Despite his apparent nonchalance, Itona was nervous, and quite possibly, afraid. And Akari wanted to do nothing more but to comfort him, but she wasn't sure if she had that privilege now.

"I'll be honest with you as well. I _was_ acting, but not in the way you think," Akari confessed. Itona regarded her with curiosity and mild suspicion. "Back then I had always pretended to be indifferent and aloof so I could conceal my true emotions and stop Shiro from taking advantage of me. You once said I was "savage", yeah? Basically, I was intimidating others in order to protect myself." Then Akari sighed and absentmindedly twisted her bedsheets with her fingers.

"I know what you want to know, Itona," she said quietly. "I never pretended to be someone else when it came to you."

Itona was silent, oh-so-silent. Akari slowly stretched out a hand. He didn't move, but she knew he was listening.

"All my care for you had and _has_ been real and I'm not doing that to make myself likable or whatever. I care because I cannot bear to see you get hurt in the same way I did. I simply cannot." Akari inhaled. "I don't know if you believe me, but that has never been an act. Even after you left Shiro. The only time I had lied was when I told you I had removed my tentacles, and I don't have an excuse for that-"

" _They_ asked you to, didn't they?" Itona said softly. "The tentacles, I mean. They made me stay with Shiro when you told me to leave. The tentacles make you do weird stuff sometimes. I understand."

Akari swallowed thickly. The way Itona had worded it made it sound like he was comforting himself by saying those damned tentacles were the only thing to blame. That sweet and kind Kayano was there and would always be there for him.

"I'm not a saint," Akari began rather sternly. "I won't pretend that I'm innocent and that the tentacles controlled my every move. I did terrible things with and without the tentacles' influence, and I apologize."

Itona shifted in his stool. "Apologizing won't change much," he said, voice a little louder.

"I know!" Akari exclaimed. "That's why–that's why I want to mend bonds with everyone! I want to prove I'm not the same manipulative bastard I was!" Akari saw Itona's eyebrows jerk up in surprise. "It's okay if you don't let me, and it's okay if you hate me, but I want to _change_ things. I want to make things better, if you'll let me. Maybe I can't fix the past, but I'll work hard for a better and happier future with everyone."

"So… you want to start again?"

Akari chewed on her inner cheek. "In a way, yes," she admitted. "I want to know everyone as Yukimura Akari, not Kayano Kaede. Maybe it's selfish for me to want that–"

"It's not selfish," Itona interrupted her swiftly and quietly. "We all crave affection." A pause. "Even me, sometimes."

"Yeah," Akari murmured.

The room was very quiet, except for the chirping of birds outside the window.

"Alright, I'll make this very clear." Itona stared straight at Akari, a steely glint in his amber eyes. "What you did was unarguably shitty, but I'm willing to believe you can do better. So, I'm giving you a second chance." A short pause, and he shot her a small smile. "It's also because you gave me one too. However, if you pull that shit again, I'll cut all ties with you. No third chances."

Akari's heart leapt, and she couldn't help but beam. "I won't let you down again, Itona," she promised.

"Let's hope you don't," Itona said. "Back when you showed your true colours, for one second I thought you had been pretending to be nice for me the entire time. Then I remembered you bothered to write messages on fucking _Kit-Kats_ of all things, and if you really were acting, you wouldn't bother."

Akari chuckled at the memory. "It was sort of a last ditch Hail Mary."

"And, you know, I was _sure_ you weren't acting." Itona leaned forward and gave Akari's hand a little squeeze. "I don't know exactly why, but I just believed it. It wasn't blind hope. It wasn't foolishness. I think… maybe it was because I trust you too much."

"You're too sweet," Akari gushed, knowing she would just piss him off. He gave her a deadpan glare. "So you really believe I didn't act in front of you?"

"Yeah? Either that or I'm really as dense as Terasaka. Which I'm not."

Akari snorted. "Can I ask you a semi-serious question?"

"Sure."

"In your opinion, what's the difference between the me you interact with and the me you see at school? 'Cause earlier I had a bit of an identity crisis." Akari laughed to soothe her nerves.

"... Geez, can you _not_ say those things with such a cheerful voice? Speaking of being cheerful, I think the Kayano at school is overly sweet to the point of being _nauseating._ "

"Wow, thanks."

"And whenever you scream about boobs or something, I cringe. You sound horrid. Like fingernails scraping on a chalkboard."

Akari gasped, mock-offended.

"But honestly? Both Kayanos are nice people." Itona shot her a grin. "In fact, I'm sure all versions of you are nice–be it Yukimura or Kayano. It's just that one of them is too nice and too happy to the point it doesn't feel realistic. And one of them is badass and won't be afraid to call people out."

Akari didn't expect Itona to say _that_. "Thanks. It… it means a lot," she said sincerely.

"I'm sure people will like you for who you are. After all, I do, and I _hated_ you at first."

Akari laughed. "Okay, you do have a point."

… Akari knew things couldn't go back to the way they were. Her identity reveal had changed the course of the entire class. She could only hope Itona was right and that she could still be nice and kind, although toned down from her Kayano persona.

But at least she could be truthful to her loved ones now.

* * *

A lot of things happened after Kayano's fight with Korosensei.

For one, another fight broke out between the class–about whether to save Korosensei or kill him. Itona personally believed killing Korosensei was easier than saving him, and he didn't want to face failure again. Although the prospect of killing his teacher pained him, trying to save him and then failing pained him even more. So Itona went against Kayano. Things were a little tense at times, but in the end, they managed to smooth out everything.

The class united once again. They scoured the Internet and libraries for ways to stop Korosensei from exploding. Itona and Kayano in particular did their best to extract useful information from their memories. They even tried to infiltrate Shiro's lab, only to discover it had been moved and there was nothing left at the original site.

"He didn't trust us one bit," Itona remarked coolly.

"He's an asshole, but a smart asshole," Kayano supplied. "It's a shame that we can't help much."

Still, they joined Takebayashi and Okuda in researching the tentacles. To be honest, Itona still didn't know much about his tentacles, and was discovering more about them each day. For instance, he would randomly experience a prickling in his skull–he called it "phantom pain". At first, he was confused and frustrated because he didn't know how to make the pain leave. But then Kayano caught him scratching his head like a feral animal, and offered to massage his head.

Initially, Itona thought that sounded weird as fuck, but then he remembered Kayano was trying to repair their bond. Albeit awkwardly, he let her massage his head.

"Just don't play with my hair," Itona told her. (She ended up giving him a few braids anyway.)

To her credit, Kayano did manage to soothe his pain. Having his hair be played with didn't feel bad either. And it was nice how the rest of the class didn't judge their behaviour.

Sometimes Kayano would experience the "phantom pain" too. Kayano was a good actress, but Itona was familiar with her body language now. The vacant look in her eyes, her wobbling knees, and her suddenly lapse in concentration all told him she was in pain. He would then roll his eyes and say "I told you to stop acting."

Kayano would then lift her still-green hair to expose the scars at the back of her neck. Itona understood that as a gesture of trust, so he would carefully touch the calloused pink skin and hoped he was gentle enough.

Everything was going pretty well. Their class spirit was even stronger than ever, their classmates didn't shun Kayano, and it seemed like they were on the verge of finding a cure. Muramatsu's parents didn't mind him staying for extended periods of time, and their ramen started to become less shitty. Itona thought he could finally move on from his past and look forward to the future.

Until one night his past came back to haunt him.


	18. Warmth

Itona woke up, breathing heavily. He felt like he was trapped in a corner–

His head hurt.

Itona raised a hand to feel his non-existent tentacles. He shut his eyes and thought he heard Shiro's cold voice and the whirring of the machines and he thought he smelled the stench of blood and disinfectant–

He opened his eyes.

Pitch black continued to greet him. He couldn't see shit. It felt like an iron fist was clenching his heart.

_What the fuck?! It's just a nightmare._ _**Get over it.** _

Panic seized him and his breathing quickened, but he forced himself to think rationally.

He wasn't in Shiro's facility anymore. He was safe and at Muramatsu's house.

_He wasn't in Shiro's facility anymore. He was safe and at Muramatsu's house._

Itona gritted his teeth. Shiro and his freaky friends and AKELOTA couldn't bother him anymore. He was strong he was strong–

The word "strong" brought up unpleasant memories. Itona bit his lip.

Wait, he had _friends._

.

.

.

That was right. He had friends. Friends who supported him unconditionally. He had Terasaka and Muramatsu and Yoshida and Hara and Hazama and Takebayashi–

_And Kayano._

_He had Kayano._ His first friend. His first friend he met at the facility.

For one moment, Itona didn't know what to do. So he just had a nightmare–it was no big deal, wasn't it? He should just roll his eyes and go back to sleep. But somehow, Itona couldn't do it. It sounded so easy but he _couldn't._ Paralyzing fear struck him and his mind went blank. He could hear his quickening heartbeat, and that noise made his anxiety levels spike.

 _WHY WAS HE SO SCARED_ –

He knew why. Shiro had hurt him in so many ways, and he was somehow still hurting Itona even if he wasn't there. Itona held back the urge to puke.

Maybe he could find Kayano. After all, she'd helped him in the facility, and they were on good terms now.

 _BUT IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT_ –

Fuck it! Maybe he wasn't as strong as he thought he was! Maybe his strength came from his friends instead!

Itona acted impulsively. He leapt out of bed, snatched a jacket, and dashed out of Muramatsu's house. At that point, he was so familiar with Kayano's address he could probably sleepwalk there.

White puffs of snow fell from the sky and clung onto his skin. The icy wetness seeped warmth from his body, and the wind stung his eyes. Itona shivered and started to regret he only brought a jacket. The way to Kayano's seemed especially long with the darkness and cold surrounding him, but he made it. He stumbled to her door and used his frozen knuckles to knock. And he waited.

 _One second, two seconds_ –

The door slammed open. A rectangle of light from the inside of her apartment shone on him. Kayano, dressed in pyjamas complete with fluffy slippers, looked at him, concerned. She then dragged him inside. "What happened, Itona?" she asked gently.

"I-" Now that he was actually at Kayano's, Itona began to think he had done something really stupid. He'd probably scared the life out of Kayano because he had a freakin' nightmare.

"You're freezing!" Kayano pointed out. She took off his jacket and ushered him to her sofa, then she wrapped him in a thick blanket. Warmth enveloped him and Itona felt his muscles relax.

"Here. Don't move." It was a little bit hilarious that Kayano, with her short stature, was bossing him around, but it seemed like something she would do. Kayano hurried into her kitchen and emerged with a steaming cup of tea. Itona breathed in and felt warm air enter his lungs. He took a sip and cleared his throat.

"Ah, thanks, Kayano," he mumbled.

Kayano plopped down on the sofa next to him, and inched closer. "You want to talk? It's okay if you don't, but I'll always be here for you."

Itona gulped. "Now that I think about it, it sounds really dumb–"

"I'm sure it isn't if you ran all the way here." Kayano placed a comforting hand on Itona's shoulder. "Whatever you're feeling, it's valid."

 _Okay._ Kayano was there for him, even if it was 1am. She didn't care how trivial Itona's problems might be. Itona stared at the cup of tea in his hands.

"I had a nightmare," he began abruptly. "It was about Shiro."

"I dreamt that I was back in the facility with the machines and pills and experimentations. And I just felt so… sickened. Disgusted. Horrified." Itona breathed and didn't realize his hands were shaking. "It felt like I was still back there with him. Like he could still control me. I know this doesn't sound logical in the slightest because I _know_ I'm safe now, but I still feel so… scared."

"It sounds perfectly logical," Kayano reassured him. "I think you've been scarred by your experience, and that's normal! I'm traumatized too." Her expression turned serious. "We should not have experienced the terrible things that we did. It's okay to be afraid."

" _It's okay, it's okay,"_ Itona absentmindedly muttered to himself as his fingers played the bandana on his head. Kayano felt the same. Being scared didn't mean he was weak. And–

"It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes," Kayano said softly. She pulled Itona closer, and he subconsciously laid his head on her shoulder. "I know it's tough pretending to be indifferent and strong. It gets tiring."

Suddenly, Itona couldn't speak. He couldn't pinpoint the emotions churning inside him. He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the warmth. He could feel Kayano breathe, and that gentle rise-fall movement comforted him.

_It's okay to be vulnerable…_

There was a part of him that vehemently protested at that idea. He'd spent literal years trying to be strong and victorious, but for once, it felt… nice to accept that he couldn't be strong at all times. He didn't have to force himself to be someone he wasn't.

"Kayano…" he uttered. "How do I stop being scared? I know that won't happen immediately, but I want to move on from the past."

"It's a long process," Kayano admitted. She sat up straighter, and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. "Hey, Itona, name something you can see right now."

Itona blinked, surprised by her question. "Alright. I see a pudding plushie that suspiciously looks like Kunudon."

"How about something you can smell?"

"Your cheap strawberry shampoo."

"Something you can hear?"

"Umm." Itona didn't know what to say. "Your voice? And the rustling of the leaves outside."

"Can you feel something?"

Itona looked down. "This fluffy blanket that is surprisingly enough not itchy?"

"You're completely correct! You're sensing all of these things. You're not in the facility. You're not strapped to a machine." She took Itona's hands. "You're with me in my apartment and I promise you're _safe_."

"Huh."

Kayano nudged Itona. "It's a grounding technique that uses your five senses. It helps you be more aware of your surroundings and I think it can help you calm down."

Itona took in a few deep breaths. He focused on the cheerful yellow of Kayano's pudding plushies and the pictures of her friends and the heat of the cup in his hands. And he focused on the softness of the blanket and Kayano's body warmth and the sound of her voice. And how different it was from the dreary and cold facility he used to be stuck inside.

And he felt better. So he told her that.

Kayano beamed at him. "I'm glad that helped. You can stay for as long as you like."

"It's 2 in the morning."

Kayano shrugged. "You can stay the night, but I think Muramatsu will get really worried."

"Yeah, he will. But anyways, thanks for letting me stay, Kayano. Don't want to sound mushy, but I really appreciate it."

Itona knew he and Kayano had come so far. At first, at Shiro's facility, he despised her because he saw her as competition, which (grudgingly) evolved into respect and then admiration. Then, they started to chat and buy snacks for each other (the tiger key charm was still dangling on Itona's bag), and they grew closer and closer until Shiro separated them. Itona remembered how his respect for Kayano had dissolved momentarily when she asked him to leave Shiro. Itona was such an idiot back then, but thankfully Kayano never gave up on him. Kayano may have lied about her identity, but she had always fiercely cared for her friends. And that was why Itona liked Kayano so much. Itona couldn't imagine how much worse his life would be if she hadn't joined Shiro's AKELOTA programme.

… He was grateful he'd given her a second chance.

He was really grateful he'd met her, and he wouldn't have it any other way.


	19. Equilibrium

They were now trying to save Korosensei's life, and of-fucking-course Yanagisawa had to butt in.

Clad in her special gym uniform, Akari glared daggers at Yanagisawa. She was so tired of everything–so tired of the media villainizing Korosensei and treating them as helpless hostages, so tired of the government trying to ruin everything, so tired of Yanagisawa and his shitty plans. Korosensei couldn't even celebrate his birthday without being interrupted.

Akari paled when she saw a tentacled monstrosity emerge from behind Yanagisawa. There was no doubt about it–this person had also received the tentacle cells, but not in the way she and Itona had received theirs. This monster didn't even have a humanoid appearance. She and Itona exchanged terrified glances.

_This one was on a whole other level._

Yanagisawa cackled as he took in their horrified looks. His one fake eye made him look even less human, if that was possible. "He is nothing like that failure Itona, or that little girl over there. He has fully harnessed the destructive power of the tentacles."

"Tch, that freak…" Itona scowled, but Akari had seen how his eyes had widened in fright. Kayano blinked, the earth rumbled and she was knocked to the ground. She gasped, head ringing from the impact. The monster was so quick she couldn't even see his attacks! Yanagisawa claimed the monster could reach a top speed of Mach 40. For the first time, Akari didn't doubt Yanagisawa.

"The remainder of his life of his life will last no longer than another three months," Yanagisawa stated nonchalantly as he watched the fight from above. He giggled uncontrollably, the noise sending chills down Akari's spine. "See? _He's perfect!_ _ **He's the ultimate weapon!**_ "

Something snapped inside Akari.

"You're always like this!" Akari barked at Yanagisawa, fists clenched. "Hurting everyone around you… while watching safely from above! You're despicable!"

Yanagisawa looked at Kayano with contempt and mild amusement. Kayano hated that look–it felt like he had something up his sleeve.

"Kayano–" Itona said abruptly, as if he'd discovered something _._

"Do you really think so?" Yanagisawa remarked idly.

Before anyone could stop him, he ripped off his hood and stabbed his neck with a syringe. Akari froze, dread filling her up. She _knew_ what was happening–

" _ **Do you honestly believe that I have not prepared myself for death?"**_

Impulsively, Akari leapt forward–

"No!"

To Akari's surprise, it was Itona who held her back. "He's dangerous!" he hissed. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Akari's eyes narrowed. "You think I'm gonna stand here and do nothing?! He just injected himself with the tentacle cells!" she spat out. Behind her, a tentacled Yanagisawa pounced at Korosensei and joined the fight, but they were moving so quickly Akari had no idea what was happening.

"Kayano… he's right," Nagisa tried to convince her. "We can barely understand the situation."

Akari hated it, but she was completely helpless. None of them, not even Karasuma and Bitch-sensei, could do anything to stop Yanagisawa as he ruthlessly ordered the monster to attack her class over and over again, which forced Korosensei to shield them. Fury bubbled in her veins and threatened to explode–

"Itona," Akari said. "I'm going to stop him."

Itona's eyes were also blazing, reminding her of when he still had tentacles. "I'm coming with you," he said coolly.

A new, gruff voice joined in the conversation. "Oy! Are you guys planning on getting your revenge?!"

Akari and Itona spun towards Terasaka. "You two knuckleheads know what happened last time," he snarled. "You wanna try that shit again?"

Akari thought about her elaborate revenge scheme that involved faking her identity for a year. She'd been so consumed by her fury and heartbreak that she couldn't fully appreciate the wonderful friends and teachers she'd been blessed with. All along, she'd thought no one would like her after they knew the truth, but the contrary happened. Why continue to wallow in her pit of despair and loneliness? Why continue the never-ending cycle of hatred and revenge?

Akari inhaled. She still desired justice for Aguri, and she would _never_ forgive Yanagisawa, but now she had someone else to fight for.

"We're doing it to protect Korosensei," Akari stated firmly.

"He's done so much for us. It's our turn," Itona added.

Together, Akari and Itona jumped in front of Korosensei, both armed with guns and knives. Adrenaline coursed through Akari's veins and her heart felt like it was about to leap out of her ribcage, but she faced the monster with unwavering determination. When the monster's tentacles flew towards them, they both dodged. Akari snuck a look at Itona to make sure he was okay.

Yanagisawa chuckled. "Well, well. You two are former tentacle users, after all. You must've retained some of your kinetic vision."

Behind Korosensei, her other classmates were screaming and pleading them to stop, but Akari paid them no heed. She and Itona had the most experience with the tentacles, so they should be the ones to step up.

"Number Two," Yanagisawa called out, then gave the monster a thumbs down–

Something barrelled into Akari's chest and she choked back a scream. She looked down and her eyes widened with horror–

" _ **ITONA!"**_

Akari's body crashed on the ground and the world spun before her eyes, but she forced herself up. In the distance, she saw a blur of white and she stiffened. Holy shit–Itona had pushed her out of the way and holy _shit_ what if he'd been struck?! Akari would never forgive herself–

She ignored the blood running down her cheeks and shakily stood up. Her ears rang and she could hear Yanagisawa's cacophonous laughs. She tried to run to him, but her pathetic knees wobbled.

" _ITONA!"_ Akari hollered again.

Itona, who was covered in dirt, stumbled to his feet. Thankfully, she couldn't see any blood on him. If it hadn't been for him, Akari was sure she would've been impaled. In some sort of twisted way, Akari was glad Itona had learned to interpret Shiro's hand gestures and orders.

"So weak," Yanagisawa mocked them. "Just one blow and then–"

Itona, who looked oddly calm, stared straight at Yanagisawa. "Who has no vision now, huh?"

White smoke erupted from Itona, blinding them all. Akari sniffed the air and instantly recognized that as one of Okuda's custom bombs. Itona was providing her with a temporary cover. With his odd choice of words, he was practically screaming at her to do something. But what?

The cogs in Akari's brain turned quickly, and her eyes darted around the area. Yanagisawa was giving out orders to the monster–Itona could understand them. Wait, the monster hadn't attacked them afterwards because Yanagisawa was busy taunting them. Déjà vu washed over Akari and she suddenly recalled a scenario long ago–the pole-toppling competition against Asano–

The realization hit her.

_The monster was useless without Yanagsiawa's orders._

_No_ _**vision.** _

So _that_ was what Itona wanted her to do!

Ignoring her throbbing bruises, Akari charged towards Yanagisawa. Yanagisawa, disoriented by the bomb, noticed her a little too late, which provided Akari with the perfect opportunity.

She yanked out a gun and aimed it towards Yanagisawa's remaining eye-

_BANG!_

_._

_._

_._

Good. She didn't miss.

Yanagisawa howled and clutched his bloody eye. "YOU BITCH!" he screeched. "LIKE TEACHER, LIKE STUDENT–"

Akari spotted a syringe in his hands, snatched it, and promptly crushed it to pieces with her boot. Now that Yanagisawa was blind, he was essentially powerless. He could no longer give out orders. She contemplated punching his face, but decided against it and dashed towards Itona. Itona was evading the monster by leaping from tree to tree, but he was obviously struggling judging from his sloppy movements.

Akari dived in front of Itona and diverted the monster's attack. "You alright?" she yelled at him.

"Yeah, how about you–"

"Kayano-san, Itona-kun, stay back!" Korosensei demanded frantically. "This is my fight, not yours!"

Akari snatched Itona's hand and dragged him behind Korosensei. "Glad you understood my meaning," Itona said simply, but she could see a relieved smile on his face. Akari wiped the blood from her face and gave him a bone-crushing hug.

Itona was alright. He was safe. They'd somehow managed to survive that attack.

"Don't get too emotional." Itona petted her back. "This isn't over."

Akari's arms dropped to her sides, and along with the rest of her class, she looked grimly at Korosensei and his first student. Korosensei's tentacles were pitch black, showing he was furious that his students were hurt. Out of nowhere, blinding light emitted from Korosensei.

"Anger…" Korosensei turned red, and quickly became blue. "Sadness… joy… pain…" Korosensei went from blue to his signature cheerful yellow back to black. "I'm fusing every colour, every feeling, every experience, be it positive or negative, and all of life to create… pure white energy!"

Itona took a step back and subconsciously leaned against Akari. Korosensei was using his superhuman body, plus everything he'd felt and learned, and his skills from his assassin days combined with his love to protect everyone. Everything had melded into one, balancing each other out, so that–

" _May you graduate in peace, my dear student."_

Then white dominated her vision and she could see no more.

* * *

Itona could hardly believe it. The faintest bits of yellow light slipped from his fingers and dissipated. Korosensei was really dead. And they could do nothing to change that. Not even when they blinded Yanagisawa or killed the second Reaper.

He couldn't stop the hot tears from trickling down his face. They'd tried so hard! Itona had realized Yanagsiawa was the only one who could give orders to the second Reaper, so blinding him seemed like a feasible and effective solution. But they were still forced to kill Korosensei.

_So fucking unfair._

Kayano was sobbing, fisted hands on her empty lap where Korosensei's head used to lay. His heart twisted at the sight. He remembered how she'd comforted him at the lab, during his panic attack, and after the monster's attack. Kayano had always been there... Itona stumbled towards Kayano and wrapped an arm around her.

"Akari," he choked out, "you don't always have to be the one to comfort me. We don't have to wallow in our grief alone. Let me help you."

So underneath the crescent moon, in each other's arms, they cried their hearts out.


	20. Epilogue

Akari's long black hair fluttered in the humid spring breeze. She stared up at the old 3-E campus, quiet now that its users had graduated a year ago. A fond smile quirked on her lips.

"I'm back, Korosensei," Akari murmured to herself.

Footsteps sounded behind her. Akari turned around and beamed. "Hey, Itona! You made it!"

Itona had grown taller in the past year. He was still wearing a bandana, although not one made of antisensei material anymore. Akari thought he suited his yellow plaid bandana rather well. "Hey," he said simply. "How's life?"

"Pretty good!" Akari replied. "I've met some new friends in high school, and I still hang out with our old classmates regularly. It's great that Karasuma-san and Bitch-sensei keep in touch with us even though they're super busy."

"I appreciate the therapists they got us too," Itona mentioned. "Honestly, we all needed therapy."

"Especially us," Akari muttered. "We've been so damaged by the tentacles, but thankfully, we recovered quickly with everyone's help."

The duo quietly started to wipe the classroom. Akari glanced at the blackboard and saw a couple chalk drawings of Korosensei. She watched in amusement as Itona drew a mustache on one of the Korosenseis.

"I can't believe it's been more than a year since Korosensei passed away…" Akari said softly. "It seemed so long ago, yet I can remember everything vividly."

"Same," Itona admitted. He took out two bottles of their favourite bitter tea and passed one to Kayano. "Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I had joined the class earlier, but I should stop dwelling on the past. The most important thing is that I met all of you idiots."

Akari nodded in agreement. "We learned to overcome our vengeful feelings in 3-E. We found a home in 3-E, and it'll always be our home."

Itona tapped his chin. "Speaking of homes, I received some news yesterday."

Akari raised her eyebrows in anticipation. "Yeah?"

A genuine grin spread across Itona's face. "I'm finally officially adopted by Muramatsu's parents! I guess my legal surname is now Muramatsu, and I have to call my legal brother Takuya now… sounds hella weird." Despite that, Itona couldn't stop smiling. She could tell he was overjoyed and so was she for him.

Akari chuckled. "Muramatsu Itona. Good thing that we've always called you by your given name."

"You remember how my dad tried to find me after our middle school graduation and I refused to live with him? And at first I wondered if I'd made a mistake? But if I chose to go with him, I would never be adopted by the Muramatsus. And if I have to choose between a father who abandoned his son and a father who makes shitty ramen, I'll choose the latter."

Akari lightly punched Itona's shoulder. "I'm proud of you! It's not easy to break free, but it's for the best. I'm so happy you have a loving family now!"

"And I'm happy you found numerous support systems." Itona smiled at Akari.

"Yeah, and it's nice that I don't have to act anymore!"

Itona snorted. "I told you people would like you for who you are. That is, if you stop pulling that Kayano bullshit. You're a good actress, but you're the best at being annoying. I don't think anyone has told you that."

Akari burst into giggles. "I have to admit I kinda adopted Kayano's personality, but my friends told me I can't be good at being like someone I'm completely not. So I suppose I've always been a little like Kayano all along."

"Yeah."

Afternoon sunlight shone through the now dust-free windows, bathing them in a warm golden glow. Akari inhaled and thought of how good it was to be alive.

Once upon a time, they weren't fine at all. They waged a war and tried to defeat their trauma with empty promises of victory and revenge. They couldn't overcome devastation with anger. They were so consumed by spite and vengefulness that they lost themselves. But in the midst of hell, Akari and Itona somehow found each other.

They found warmth. They found a _friend_. And they finally realized that was what they needed all along.

Korosensei and 3-E found them. They taught them to love and to laugh and to be happy, and as cheesy as it sounded, Akari knew they changed her and Itona's lives forever.

Akari couldn't forgive Yanagisawa, not forget her trauma and pretend it never happened–

But for now, she and Itona were warm.

And maybe that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! We've reached the end! Formatting this was a total NIGHTMARE haha.
> 
> Thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed :D come scream at my blog @assclass-conspiracies if you're free!

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: the first AssClass thing I’ve ever written was a Kayano fic titled "Facades". The beginning part of this fic is actually a rewritten version of my old fic. I never finished or published it, and I don’t intend to. But it’s nice how the first thing I ever wrote for this fandom (which I quickly abandoned in favour of ChibaHaya) came back (sorta) for this Big Bang.
> 
> Thank you to everyone on the Big Bang discord for helping me out with things like characterisation! Special thanks for Zaina for being the artist and Shreya for being the beta reader, also shoutout to my real life friends who helped me beta read despite knowing nothing about AssClass (if you're reading this, I won't be surprised but I'll be slightly scared lol).
> 
> Thanks to Livi for organising this project! It was really fun to work with other people and this is actually my first time posting a completed fic in one go. I really put in a lot of effort lol- I didn’t have the mood to write romcoms in the middle of the Covid19 pandemic so this fic is different from my usual stuff. It’s my quarantine project UwU.
> 
> Finally, thank you for reading and hope you liked it!


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